MDD with psychosis - what's your experience with it . . .

[Gray07]

I was diagnosed with MDD with psychosis (psychotic features) in Nov 2018. I am concerned that the delusions/hallucinations may be returning. Worthlessness is sneaking back and I feel as if I am not being a proper wife. I am starting to hear various things and I am not positive they are real or not, as well as starting to look to deeply into things; seeing "signs". I learned in therapy when negative thoughts pop up I need to acknowledge and then basically move on as it is just a fleeting thought which is not productive. As these things come in waves (for now), I feel I am still in control. What I am concerned about is . . . How do you know you are managing your mental health? When do you recognize that you are NOT in control ? Or when do you need to seek help ?

I am still eating, sleeping, showering, attending work properly, etc . . . but it is more of going through the motions - (emotionless).

I would like to know how others have dealt with their psychosis, recognizing relapses, the ability to admit to family/friends, dealing with embarrassment of mental issues; that others will not trust or "see" you in the same manner.

[Hidden]

I can relate. The signs, thoughts, hallucinations are there and could soon be a relapse. I would see if a med change or adjustment is in order. For me I had these signs before psychosis. It was seeing signs so to speak, like giving meaning to random things,repetitive phrases, seeing and hearing things, paranoid behavior etc. When it increased it was too late to realize that my mind was gone. There was a short time I worried about it and knew it wasn't right and then a switch flipped and I didn't have a care in the world and made no sense. I have never had another so I don't know if I would recognize it in time but you are now so now is the time to act and tell at least others around you to watch for psychosis and help you but I would see a doc now, even if it means hospitalization. It's better than hurting yourself or someone else.

[gleason9guy]

" I am starting to hear various things and I am not positive they are real or not, as well as starting to look to deeply into things; seeing "signs". Have you been instructed that this is your psychosis at work? Just curious and trying to connect the dots.

[1947treble]

I am literally still in that same situation. My wife knows about all the symptoms and is a huge support. When something seems odd or when I start saying/thinking about stuff obsessively I check with her about my thought process and can trust her to distinguish how in touch I am or am not with reality. But for that, she needed to know about it to help. That's why I'd encourage telling someone in your life you can trust that knows you well enough to realize when you're not being yourself.