I’m not sure if anyone can relate to this .
In the past when I used to feel deep pain (mostly from toxic people or past trauma) I dealt with it in two ways ..Either I used bottle or bury the root of the pain. I used to pretend it does not bother me and ignore it .. but internally it killed me ... it triggered anxiety and depressive symptoms. The second way would be to completely get lost in the pain and issues , let it completely take over my whole life , become really obsessed with it and never let go or actually come up with solutions . I couldn’t help myself. These two ways were how I naturally dealt with pain.
Recently I allow myself to feel the pain and the emotions but only for a couple of days. Then I almost force myself to think of positive lessons I’ve learnt from this pain and then force myself to learn ITS NOT MY FAULT ... the hardest part.... I leave it behind and move on with my life. I haven’t forgotten... but I’ve accepted and learned from it. I feel like it makes me stronger.
I still have off days and get obsessed by my past trauma and pain... but its a lot less than 24/7 now .
Everyone has their own unique journey, I hope mine can help you a little x