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24 Replies

I’m not sure if anyone can relate to this .

In the past when I used to feel deep pain (mostly from toxic people or past trauma) I dealt with it in two ways ..Either I used bottle or bury the root of the pain. I used to pretend it does not bother me and ignore it .. but internally it killed me ... it triggered anxiety and depressive symptoms. The second way would be to completely get lost in the pain and issues , let it completely take over my whole life , become really obsessed with it and never let go or actually come up with solutions . I couldn’t help myself. These two ways were how I naturally dealt with pain.

Recently I allow myself to feel the pain and the emotions but only for a couple of days. Then I almost force myself to think of positive lessons I’ve learnt from this pain and then force myself to learn ITS NOT MY FAULT ... the hardest part.... I leave it behind and move on with my life. I haven’t forgotten... but I’ve accepted and learned from it. I feel like it makes me stronger.

I still have off days and get obsessed by my past trauma and pain... but its a lot less than 24/7 now .

Everyone has their own unique journey, I hope mine can help you a little x

24 Replies
JEG325 profile image
JEG325

Then I'd say you're doing pretty well, my friend. I'm 58 and only in the last month or so have I learned to come to grips with my emotions very well. I had to be physically stronger before I could be emotionally stronger. Under Sue's strong umbrella of love, I have flourished, gradually gaining both physical and mental strength. I have also eliminated many of the causes of my angst and refocused that time on how to enjoy life with my sweetie. It seems like emotional problems tend to bounce off me more- like hail off the concrete- than they used too. I'm not 100% impervious to the effects, but I am certainly much more resistant than I used to be. The less problems I have, the stronger I grow. It all seems good right now. Glad it's working out for you too. Have a blessed day, Hope!

in reply to JEG325

Thank you .

Yeah I’m not an expert either , I still struggle and still find it hard to get past it.. I guess I can say I’m more aware now .

I’m really pleased for you too. Hopefully together we can all get stronger as time goes by

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to

Agreed. I see signs of it all around me. I think we can all rise above a certain percentage of our problems if we look within ourselves, utilize the inner core strength we all have and realize that thoughts, feelings and dreams are not physical objects. Because when you finally realize that, you also realize you can exert more control over yourself by refusing to let these problems take control of you. You can say....Anxiety? Not on my watch! Depression? You have no home here! Fear? Go back where you came from! You can mentally kick the rears of all of this type of stuff by refusing to allow these inanimate things to control you!

in reply to JEG325

Aaaah if only it was that easy ey? If only we could kick depression and anxiety away forevermore !!!!! Wouldn’t that be the best 😃 haha

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to

YOU are stronger than you think. YOU have to be the one who decides that you are not gonna let things like words, thoughts or bad dreams control you. If you add a good diet, proper nutrition, exercise, some time in the sun and the normal activity of a full life to an improved mental outlook, each of these facets will strengthen the other and they will form a strong, protective bond around you at all times. Hope, my friend, you are worth the effort! Have a blessed day!

Lali2018 profile image
Lali2018

Thank you Hope! I too can relate...

in reply to Lali2018

Thats okay .. I just wanted to share my feelings so anyone else who feels the same know they’re not alone, I’m right there with you 😊

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I’m happy that it’s usually okay for you and I know what you mean; I’ve been trying to be with my emotions without judging ... but like today I felt sick with dred in my chest like this terrifying thing is herevor will be here. I don’t know what it’s about or why it’s there. It helps me to gain knowledge of anything scary but I’m at a loss so far. Maybe it’s a simple ‘what if’ typevof thing.

Hey Hope it’s NOT your fault!!!!!! It’s Not my fault!!!!!! We are strong and we acknowledge our thoughts and feelings and I feel like what you said is do right that it’s not good to bottle it up but we also can work on it then let it go.

It can be complicated I think so good for us!!!!! We try we work hard we care we deserve All goodness. Best to you always Hope!

in reply to Starrlight

Hey Star I understand what you mean , I’m not sure if you remember but I had that feeling a while ago too. I could not figure out what it was and it was almost a physical pain filled with dread. I’m so sorry you’re going through it ☹️ I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. For me is was definitely the anxiety of ‘what if’ and I wish I knew what helped it go.. but it kind of went by itself 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s definitely not out fault! We don’t deserve it! And we’re more than our pain 😊 deep breaths and let it go slowly , shining Star 🌟

I pray/hope this feeling goes away for you very soon

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

((((((((((Hug)))))))))))) thanks yeah I do too, I think it goes on it’s own yes it’s like physical as well as the nagging emotionsl dred ... maybe our intuition got a bit screwed up and we think we have to stand guard and protect ...but why did it get that way ugh maybe a dream or something triggered ...but everything keeps being a so called ok time... Ive been extra gentle with my kids and extra sure the schools are treating my kids right. So because I’m taking care of a lot of business in my life I help the dred feel not as bad but there’s sooooooooo much to do lately it’s really hard to chill. All these racing thoughts ahhhhhh I’m going to drink a calming tea called tea the’ by aveda company it’s so goood and passionflower extract and cbd ... I make little potions 🧪

Wonderful to read I really want to try to do this too Thankyou. for sharing it ❤️

in reply to

You’re welcome ! it takes time and patience and I’m definitely still a ‘work in process’ , but it certainly helps a little, hope it works out for you

Everyone’s journey is different 😊

BonnieSue profile image
BonnieSue

Hope, it's wonderful hearing how you've learned to cope better with pain and trauma, that you're hurting less and it's lasting for a shorter time period. What a gift! What a tough yet important life skill to acquire! So happy for you! 😄🎊🏆🌟 I think the problems and the solutions are a little different in each person's life so it's congrats when you discover your particular way to recognize and conquer your difficulties. Best wishes for a brighter future with more and more promise! 🌞🌿🍁⭐️🎈🎀✨🏝🥀🙏☘️❤️👍💖

in reply to BonnieSue

Thank you ,Sue 😊

Yes it is very difficult and I’m not fully there yet but still trying !

I agree everyone has a different journey in healing, absolutely.

I wish everyone the best in their healing 💕

Best wished to you and yours 😊 ❣

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Ta

in reply to Sillysausage234

☕️ cheers

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

Haha just been sat next to jo brands doppelgänger in school 😊

in reply to Sillysausage234

No wayyyy! Is she being nice to ya?

If anyone is mean to ar’Alan in school you let us know and we’re all coming to sort them out for ya !!!!

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

😂..ok apart from coughing and spluttering on me ...thanks

in reply to Sillysausage234

Get your mask on 😷

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

It’s in my school bag ready for Monday thanks again your a good friend 🧁

in reply to Sillysausage234

We’re all so proud of you my friend! A great student you are.. with amazing reports!

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

😂

in reply to Sillysausage234

Lol 😂

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