Wondering

[mel2501]

Does anyone ever feel like they play the victim role a lot? Poor me, I’m going through all this stuff and no one seems to care. Yet, at an intelectual level you are semi-aware that no one is responsible of your wellbeing, but yourself. How can these 2 notions work? The “Oh poor you” and the “snap out of if” you? Specially when the victim in you “finds no rescue” and continues to fall deeper in the hole.

[BecR1025]

I do get in those moods where I just feel as if nobody around me ever cares about me. Nobody reaches out to me, they don't stick up for me, they don't seek me out, they started that argument that one time, they don't reach out, they don't invite me, and so on and so fourth. In my mind I know I am being selfish and stubborn focusing on myself. I argue with myself asking myself why I'm not the one reaching out. Why does it have to always be the other person. But honestly, I am still struggling with this. I have gotten better over time, but I do still find myself trapped in the never ending cycle of "why me" or "why NOT me?" It's terrible and I have yet to find a way to get it under control.

[mel2501 in reply to BecR1025]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Is nice to know there are others who are struggling, yet take the time to let us know we are not truly alone.

[Hidden]

I feel this way a lot, so i have stopped talking to those around me and started keeping a journal. It can't talk back but it doesn't make me feel ignored. It is a healthy way for me to get off my chest what I am feeling without making me feel like i'm playing the pity me card. Some people just don't understand what we go through. They don't understand depression and anxiety or how it makes people feel or act. "Get Over It" just isn't as easy as they seem to think it is.

[Hidden]

Yes, very much so. While we are aware of how much depression (or anxiety, OCD, bi-polar, etc) hinders us, it can feel like an excuse to behave a certain way because we received attention in ways we never had prior. To heal would also require not having the same severity given to our problems which scares us into thinking no one will ever provide the same level of care if you're better.

I can tell you from my own experience, this is not true. While yes, some people take what you say seriously at first, that fades with time unless they themselves have similar problems and are willing to heal with you. You may see yourself as a victim because you need help and often find that because it's not getting better overnight, you're enjoying the attention in an unhealthy way (which could tempt you to stay in that state). But I genuinely don't think that's true.

Think about it this way: you don't wish to be in this situation, correct? You came to this site in hopes of finding a solution or common ground in order to heal. Most of us don't want to feel the way we do, but some things, unfortunately, take time (even years). That is why it can feel like you're being a martyr right now. You can not place a time stamp on how long you're personally going to heal. And it's not fair if anyone else does either.

The only time you should be concerned is if you're in denial. If you no longer see your struggles or you decide that you don't want to be open to change is when your process will stay at a standstill. I hope this message has helped you in some way. Try not to beat yourself up too harshly for feeling as you do.

[mel2501 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! Your input is truly appreciated. You have no idea how tremendously hopeless I feel, but knowing that people in this community are going through similar situations gives me a small sense of belongingness.

[WorshipGirl2000]

I have been in a similar situation for a few months. Finally pushed the "woe is me" part to the side and realized, I need help getting myself under control. I just started seeing a professional and they are starting to get me the help and coping skills that I need to get better. If you need someone to talk to in these moments, please feel free to reach out to somebody on here for help. My inbox is always open!

[mel2501 in reply to WorshipGirl2000]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

That's deep and I've no idea to be honest

[Rachel2535]

The battle that rages in the mind is so destructive sometimes. There have been times I just want to have a poor me party but they seem to never make me feel better. I have actually found that when I am in the pity pool I tend to get so angry and destructive. I mean I deserve some sympathy. Sigh! Playing the victim for life gets us no where, actually the only person it builds up is the perpetrator or the disease. Over the years my only rescue has been my relationship with Jesus. He keeps the battle in my mind from getting out of control. Praying for you -Rachel