Victim?

[JaggedEdge]

Is it wrong to feel and act like a victim if you are one?

[Hidden]

No, you just dont want it to define you for your whole life.

[JaggedEdge in reply to Hidden]

I can understand that. But what if you cannot currently cope and don't know how to care for yourself or what to do and someone keeps saying your using being the victim? I have the suicide hotline on favorites and think about calling it several times a day. I dont know what to do????

[Hidden in reply to JaggedEdge]

Theres still nothing wrong with you even if it is defining you right now or for a long time. You shouldn't feel any guilt or wrongdoing. I would say you have to do what is best for you. If you feel like you need to get help and cant go on, then you need to get help. I just wish we had much better systems for us to get you and others the help they need.

[JaggedEdge in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for listening and your support. I keep working on it and trying. Its difficult. Thanks!

[Hidden in reply to JaggedEdge]

Glad to help🙂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know how difficult it can be. Believe me. Try to be as kind to yourself as possible

[smilezz]

Don't make The Feeling of being a victim make you Unable To do stuff or Make you stuck in one place in yor life .. its always good to move on from those feelings to have your own freedom and your own life.. ly i wish i helped you with this comment and No Its Not Wrong.

[JaggedEdge in reply to smilezz]

I try to do this, but i get stuck because my issues are everyday and ongoing. I dont know what to do about that. Thanks so much for your help and support.

[smilezz in reply to JaggedEdge]

You're Going To Do It !! Its Steps .. and The First One Is To Relize it,, Its Okay You are Strong , Youre going to do it .. it just take time .. just dont give up .

[JaggedEdge in reply to smilezz]

Thanks so much for your encouragement and positivity!!!!

[smilezz in reply to JaggedEdge]

Any Time!

[Elliott_Woods]

No. You are allowed to feel. I would advise you not to be the victim for a long period of time, but for a little bit. You know? Because you want to be strong ❤ and you will be as soon as you let go of the emotional damage that has caused you to be the victim. Ur good ✌

[JaggedEdge in reply to Elliott_Woods]

Maybe thats a good answer. I can be a victim for a certain amount of time each day. I do think I need therapy but I am on a waiting list. Thank you for your support and kind comment.

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Sometimes things are just really hard and it’s ok to accept that and feel your feelings. X

[Hidden]

Try to surround yourself with uplifting positive people. I learnt when I surrounded myself with victims (because they were like me and could relate) was extremely damaging to my recovery.

[KittenMittens22]

I had a therapist once tell me to stop playing the victim. I was really upset by this as I felt I had valid reason for feeling like a victim and felt like I never got to express those feelings. But I got so frustrated about it I looked up what it means to be the victim and found it more means that feeling like a victim in order to make excuses for things and not changing. Then I understood. If I keep wanting to blame things on other people then I will always be a victim.

And yes although I was the victim of someone hurting me, it has been done and happened and I can’t let that stop me from trying to change. In other words, you can’t help what happened to you but you will always be a victim until you overcome and put progress into changing.

Hope that helps some. It sounds like you’re still working through things and that’s okay. Just don’t let things become an excuse for not getting better and staying stuck.

[enigmaticide]

Gosh that's a dangerous question. Not for you of course, but for me. There are SO many ways to make me look worse than I likely already do BUT... since you asked all innocent like...

I would firstly observe that the answer may hold a geographic element. Speaking as U.S. resident, "victimhood-cancel-culture" runs STRONG. If you're in the U.S. being a proud and outspoken victim puts you in a HUGE pool of entitled sympathizers. Merely hop on TWITTER, rage against ANY minor inconvenience that offends you, and watch the magic as the cancel-culture-machine proceeds to sweep over the lives, freedoms and dignities, of everyone not you, so ravenously that COVID-19 is left to feel inadequate. <--- Was that a jaded viewpoint? You bet! Was it inaccurate or unfair? I dare you to prove me wrong.

Historically, however, a false show of strength is forever better than wearing your victim status on your sleeve. Advertising victimhood, only invites nearby victimizers to ask themselves what else might they be able to steal from you. <--- That is the HONEST reality, and one that too many, within the U.S., don't particularly care for; it seems that too many have lost interest in reality for quite some time.

Do all the above words paint me the villain? Quite frankly, go with whatever helps you sleep at night.

[BlueSky125 in reply to enigmaticide]

I think it’s important to differentiate between people that have suffered real abuse and mistreatment versus someone that is offended for example by the packaging of their rice or pancake mix. Although I agree with the sentiment of your post I don’t think it’s relevant to the person that posted this question.

[enigmaticide in reply to BlueSky125]

In all due respect, relevance is a debate of degrees, but it would be highly presumptuous to suggest that my earlier response was ENTIRELY irrelevant. Now, if you'd rather reply with a harsher assessment of my message, perhaps there would be something to work with. Otherwise, agree to disagree and end it.

[BlueSky125]

Part of the problem with this topic is different meanings for the same word. If my car is broken into, I’m a victim of a crime. That is different from the ideas behind playing the victim or victim mentality. One idea that has been helpful for me in moving forward is to focus my attention on “what” questions instead of “why”. What questions tend to be future , forward looking vs why is getting stuck in the past. For example “ what are my options given my current situation” or “ what can I learn from what has happened to me? “. When we get stuck in the past we are re-injuring ourselves over and over.

[lostgirl75]

It’s not wrong to act like a victim but as a survivor of physical and mental abuse I personally hate to talk about my experience. If you feel the need to talk that is great it means your healing and talking is part of healing it makes you stronger

[JaggedEdge in reply to lostgirl75]

Sometimes I feel like I have to talk but I just can't do it. Its almost like I have an i nternal gag or something

[utep99]

It depends on your core beliefs. If you are a Christian you must forgive. This is very difficult. If you have no Christian beliefs then there are times that you are victimized it is ok to feel so. Forgiveness is a much harder task than to hang on to that feeling. But in all cases you must be able to prove such a event not just feel that you are.

[Hidden in reply to utep99]

What does religion have to do with forgiveness?

[utep99]

Religion and Faith are entirely different. Religion is a group of man made rules to get to God. Faith is belief and The Bible states ask God for forgiveness and he is merciful to forgive. Accepting Jesus is the second part as He died for all Man's sin. But let's face it you can accept what is offered or toss it away. If you accept God and ask forgiveness he wipes your board clean past, present and future. I an just offering what helped me not forcing anything.