Anxiety

[Impatient_Iris179]

I am fighting children Services for my grandson. It is an ugly thing to be going through at this stage in my life. His mother was an heroin addict all during her pregnancy and his father is my youngest son. They are both in prison now . My grandson is only 5 months old. I feel like I'm being attacked on all sides and my anxiety is through the roof

[sweetiepye]

It is wonderful of you to take this on at a time when most of us are doing less. I would think that children's services would want to keep a child with family. I am sorry about your son's imprisonment for whatever bad choices he has made. It must be a sorrow to you and now you have a second chance . It could be a joy for you and your grandchild to have each other. Pam

[Hidden]

Hello Iris

I have been in your position. I know how it feels to think you are being attacked from all sides. I have sat on the roof too, but from there I would work out my next move. So alone and full of fear one minute, clear sighted and focussed the next.

My grandson is 6 years old now. My son is stable on methadone (very recently) and apart from one lapse his mum has been in recovery since her son was born. Crack cocaine and heroin were the drugs of choice.

It’s been a long journey with all involved believing they were working in the baby’s best interest. Social Services had planned to take the baby when he was born into foster care with eventual adoption after one year.

I went through the process of becoming my grandson’s Legal Guardian. What can I help you with?

What is your biggest worry?

You are welcome to private message me on here if you prefer.

What you are faced with is a very, very stressful situation and a huge cause for anxiety and depression.

There is a way through.

[Starrlight]

❤️

[Dolphin14]

May I ask why the courts have the right to take a grandchild and put them in foster care?

This makes me angry and sick to my stomach. I have one grandchild. What you are going through fighting is just mind boggling to me.

I guess I had always assumed it would just be that way. A family member willing to take the child as opposed to sending them somewhere.

I'm sorry for your pain and struggle. I hope things work out for you and your grandbaby.

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

I am sure there are many informal arrangements where grandparents bring up their grandchildren. In our situation, my son and his partner had been engaging with the services and trying to 'get clean’ and asked the midwife for help at the first meeting. The midwife was duty bound to inform Social Services, after which time the couple were treated like criminals.

Social Services cited possible or probable future emotional abuse at court and requested that they could remove the child the minute he left hospital with his parents.

When you apply for guardianship you have several interviews with an appointed person from Social Services. You provide several references from family and friends who answer a lengthy questionnaire and give their opinions on your parenting skills. I went ahead with the application even though I would have been 78 when my grandson came of age.

My grandchild’s mother did not want me or her own mother to be legal guardians because it would have made it very difficult for her to get her son back.

I could write a book about what happened next.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I can’t imagine but I can pray and hope for you. As a grandma I hurt with you. Nothing can stop us though. People should know better than to mess with a grandma on a mission. 💛

Doaty