Back (almost) to square one with anxiety

[Kat63]

My anxiety is back again.

For about the last three weeks it’s been back, but I’ve tried to be in denial about it, because I hate having it so much. I want to feel good - not anxious.

Granted - the anxiety is not as bad as it was six months ago. My life is a lot better than it was six months ago.

I feel like I’m still healing from some things. The last four years or so of my life really sucked; a lot of bad stuff happened; and I’m cowering in fear of losing anything else.

I just want to be out of this part of my life and into the next good part of my life. If there is a good part. I’m 55 now, so I don’t have much time.

[BecR1025]

Pfft! 55 is the new 40! You have a ton of time. I know how you feel. The past 6ish years for me have been challenging. Especially this year. Three deaths in three months for my family. I don't think there is a good part that just starts for us. We have to push through and make those good parts happen I think. This is life. Life is hard, messy, and stressful. But we can do this. I want to feel good 100% of the time too, but I can't. It sucks right!?! You develop anxiety about your anxiety and it leaves you in an anxious ball of hopelessness. Don't focus so much on the future. How is today? What are your plans for today? Don't have any? Get some. Go outside for a walk, browse shops, call someone you haven't talked to in a long time and catch up, go out and buy yourself a puzzle or coloring book, rent a movie, go to a movie, etc. Have too many plans today and feel overwhelmed? Slow down and do one thing at a time. Play some music in between your plans. Play your favorite song and sing it as loud as you can. Go look in the mirror right now and say something positive about yourself.

When you start to feel anxiety creeping up or a panic attack coming on, slow down and be easy on yourself. Love yourself, because you have done this before. Anxiety isn't new for you, it is just a temporary brain funk and you know it will not last forever at the moment.

[Pugglesworth]

Hi Kat.

I'm 51 so I feel your pain. It's frustrating at this point in life to be struggling with this disorder. I find acceptance to be helpful. I read somewhere that pain x resistance = suffering and it struck a cord with me. I'm currently off my SSRI and I decreased my SNRI because both were/are making me sick. So anxiety is back, but I'm not feeling as sick as I was.

I'm glad you feel like you're healing from some things. I always like your posts when I see them. Envisioning helps me. I have a 'temple' I envision where I go to deep in a jungle. I visit a healer there that emanates a gold light. He/she (not sure about the gender) touches my head and I just sit there in the golden light. It also seems to help.

You have just as much time as the rest of us. There are no guarantees on how long we'll be around.

Peace.

[Nom-D-Ploom]

It sounds like you are progressing. It is just a slippery hill to climb. You get up a few feet, then slide back a few inches. You're still heading in the right direction.

I have just started a graph to mark how I am doing. It is a concrete thing that I can look at to show that even though I feel bad at times, it isn't as bad as it used to be.

[CatIsMyCopilot]

My therapist always says recovery is two steps forward, one step back.

I'm in the same position these last few days: slipping into anxiety again after a good period. It's hard to admit, but at least I have this feeling like "I've been here before and know what to do." I hope you are the same. Try to keep up morale!