How do you re educate your spouse on depression and how to treat you?

[magicwitch]

Ok, long story short... My husband and I are in marriage counseling. We are both in our 50s. I am a survivor of abuse and have had depression all my life. He understood before but now lately, it seems like he has forgotten and that in itself has caused me to feel unsafe and very depressed. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks!

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I liked a couples retreat. He couldn’t distract himself then. But he found out there he had depression as well. Food was his pacifier. We’re dealing with it. I think you have to get a dude away from house, family and work. I think you have to get women away from friends if they’re the lots of friends type because you can hide in it. That’s not good.

Perhaps without you realizing it you’ve made some changes in how you present because you know these things do change over time and he’s caught off guard. You changed the play unintentionally and he doesn’t know his lines now. It could be that simple. Ask him if he’s confused.

[magicwitch in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I plan on discussing it with him! Thanks

[fauxartist]

I think the most important thing to do is make sure your getting treatment for depression. And as far as your mate goes....let them know they can't fix you, it's just part of who you are, it's not your fault you didn't choose this, and when your going through the down side of this....ask them not to take it personally, and just let you know they are there for you, but you just need the space to ride it out till you get through the down side.

The marriage counselling is all great, but make sure the therapist understands your condition and can explain this to your partner....that they can only be patient and understanding, but cannot fix you....and it's not their fault.....or your fault.

[reaThua9]

Have you asked him what he thinks has changed? If he used to be very understanding, then I'm sure he still is inside, just gotten out of practice or confused on expressing it. Is the marriage counselor helping you both talk these things through? Have you told your husband you're feeling unsafe?

I'd love to understand better what you're going through, and I know it's hard right now I'm sorry. God bless