Everything I say can and will be held... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Everything I say can and will be held against me


Tomorrow I'm going to have to discuss my depression and anxiety with my bosses. Because it's been a problem at work. I'm anxious about it. I dont want to seem crazy and talking about it feels too personal. I'm not sure how to explain myself without getting defensive or having to go into to much detail. I would feel like I'd be lying if I made a promise to them that it wouldn't be a problem again.

24 Replies

Good Luck tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well. xx

You're too sweet thank you

Your bosses will need to make reasonable allowances and support you in this. It’s a hard thing for you to do but great that you are going to have this conversation.

My boss knows a lot about my mental health struggles (gradually disclosed to him over a couple of years) and he has, on the whole, been surprisingly supportive.

Yes, they’re your bosses but they’re people too, you may be surprised by their reaction.

I’d recommend making a few notes of what you want to say to make sure you mention everything important even if you get nervous or upset. Don’t make any promises, just explain the situation as clearly and concisely as you can, then let them take the lead.

If you can, it might be useful to think of something reasonable that could make it easier for you at work. That way it’s not about promises but shows you want to do your job as best you can, you just need a little support. Make it positive.

That's good advice and I appreciate it. I'm going to stay calm and explain what I'm comfortable explaining. Thank you

Sounds like you have a good strategy. You have got this under control and it will go well for you. It’s a nerve wracking but empowering experience and I am so pleased you are having this kind of open discussion in your workplace.

Wishing you courage and luck! I understand it will be tough to talk about it, but I usually find with these types of things that it is not as bad as I anticipate. Your bosses are humans, and I think (hope) they'll respond as humans, and be sympathetic and professional.

In what way has this been an issue? What is the bare minimum you can get away with disclosing? I often talk about my chronic medical condition which has flare ups that are uncomfortable and take a lot of time and energy to manage but are not serious. If you have to divulge things that make you uncomfortable, you might want to consider having someone from HR with you. You have an illness, and illnesses must be accommodated. An HR person would be there to ensure the company doesn't do anything for which the company would be liable, which in this case would be failing to make the reasonable allowances that are your due under the law. It also starts a paper trail: if you can't make it to work b/c of your on-the-record chronic illness, now it's harder to fire you.

(Just remember that the HR person will tell you that their job is to support you, but that is not in fact the case. Their job is to make sure that you can't sue the company. In this case, that's to your benefit)

That's been my worry. I know that Its a business and I'm expected to do a job. HR will be there and so far they have been understanding. But things always change behind closed doors. If they find me not being able to complete the day because I have an episode a problem they wouldnt be the first. Its the way it is with corporate companies. But at the end of the day deep down I'm prideful and I have walked out on jobs that have been not so understanding. Thank you to everyone. I'll post how it goes.

This is the from the EEOC about what you are entitled to under the ADA (if you can produce a doctor's note saying your issues are related to a depression diagnosis) eeoc.gov/eeoc/publications/...

Think of it this way: the worst that can possibly happen (besides your boss chopping your head off or something completely outlandish) is that your boss ridicules you and refuses to accommodate you. In that case, the boss is breaking the law (speaking of Miranda Rights), and you can file a lawsuit (and probably win, in which case your boss is going to end up being way more humiliated than you). Most likely, however, your boss will be very understanding and accommodating. In either case, my guess is you will come out a winner in some way or another. I know it might not completely take all the anxiety away, but maybe thinking about that will help put you at ease.

I would definitely bring medical documentation into the meeting.

I would also follow up with an email to all that attended reviewing what was discussed in the meeting

Have a paper trail with all this stuff.

Depression is a disease, no different than diabetes or heart disease, as long as your making an effort with meds if prescribed or wanted, and your getting therapy, let your bosses know that you are working on this and learning to live your life with it. Your not making any excuses or asking for special treatment, it's just part of who you are. If there are problems with your personality at work, that is something that can be addressed. But as long as you are doing your job...that's what counts.

Thank you everyone. I will take these good thoughts with me today.

Good luck

good luck

I think it shows a lot of courage on your part. Trying to explain something so personal like anxiety and depression to anyone isn’t easy. Good for you. I think your bosses will have a good understanding. The best of luck

How did it go today

It didn't. :( HR didn't come in till the end of my shift and by then I was so nervous and worked up I just wanted out of there. Today hasnt been the best day. They'll be there earlier tomorrow and I can get it done earlier before I chicken out. Thank you for asking:). I feel real dumb. I was all prepared and then when this morning came it was all I could think about, then by this afternoon I talked myself out of it. Trying not to be disappointed in myself.

Don't pull yourself down, it sounds like a very stressful situation. Those things are easier to get done and over with. The longer you wait the harder it is. So having them not be there just gave you more anxiety.

I hope you were able to chill out a bit when you got home. Do something to get your mind off it.

Definitely wishing you well...you are brave for doing this...

Things went well today. Spoke to my bosses. They were understanding and the company offers help in the form of hotlines and Counciling for free 5 sessions. Which I didnt know. Thank you to everyone who's been cheering me on and calming me down :) I appreciate you

I am so glad that everything went well for you today.

I guess things are starting to change in the workplace. :) xx

You’re so strong for doing this

Thank you all for the support

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