It talked about no control...instead go with the flow... much conflict we face is related to our desire to control. The world continues what it’s doing whether we get involved or not ...
😅 ok I’m off the hook trying to make things better because nothing matters anyway now just kidding ... today I am experimenting with going with it and not interfering so much like just standing back watching you know... that’s my goal for the day.
Hope you are having a beautiful day!!!
I’ve always gone with it. I never had ‘dreams’. I thought there was so much in life how was I going to fit it all in. I don’t say no to adventure and I’ll plunge right in to a job. The world spins with or without me. I’m going to experience as much as I can. Good and bad.
I try to live that way everyday, it's exhausting trying to control things outside of yourself. And there's a Serenity prayer that says exactly that. I had a friend of 40 years who's that way. Pretty much everyone in her family is not speaking to her, now me. She does things that we don't agree with, I spoke to her about it, now she has stopped speaking to me. She wanted to control the people around her. I hope she wakes up?
That’s a shame. We can’t control others. That’s kind of counterproductive to the lifestyle. I hope she wakes up to the friendship she’s missing soon.
Yea, I miss her friendship, but will Not be treated like that. In the past I've ignored things. This time she crossed the line and I did Not ignore it this time. She didn't like it. I'd rather Not have someone like that in my life less stressful. This has been over a year, I hold no grudge don't believe in that, willing to continue our friendship but Not under the same condition.
And now you are trying to control her ? Just a thought. Pam
No not at all, I don't have the time or energy for that. She wants everyone to agree with what she says, that's why none of her siblings are talking to her. I always ignored things she said. This time! Did Not go along with it. So she has stopped talking to me. Life is short, I miss her, but ok with the situation, she stressed me out.
Lovely to watch when you know there is no danger in making decisions. As a what if person I sometimes create anxiety which is to do with understanding people's coping mechanisms. If your relative was having unprotected sex with a stranger would you say something if you knew about it? Would you think you were interfering ? Cant say I could interfere but if the person was used to breaking hearts and regarded women as inferior to men I would make things difficult as a messenger. Being a parent and grandparent is difficult . You win the award of the day for watching at a distance.
You have to pick and choose your fights. I have tried for years to be helpful to those I knew. My friends would seek me out for advice because I was known to be a good listener and to give emotional, honest advice. But, some of my advice caused people to get emotionally hurt rather badly. I had to walk away from 3 friends of mine when I was younger because of that. After a severe crisis in my life I found H/U and came here. A whole site full of people looking for someone to talk to and/or give out advice. What happened? Well, I'm a self taught 'expert on supplements and so I tried to give out advice in that category. I got so much flack that I was forced to step back and reevaluate that idea. I'm also a pretty good amateur writer so I tried writing poetry. I got a ton of flack for that too. Someone had the audacity to accuse me of plagiarizing one of my best poems! I like to think I helped more people than I hurt though....And though I have pretty much given up helping general people on H/U due to all the flack I was getting, I continue to reach out to my friends. S, you welcomed me aboard here and will always be my friend. To anyone else reading this, pick and choose your fights but, don't abandon being involved with life completely or life will also abandon you. If you ignore everything and everyone out of fear, then how do you know you are living? Sorry for the sermon, S.....
No. I just want to die. That’s it.
TRIGGER I’m a horrible person if you knew what was in my head.maybe I’m mean and hateful yet some days I’m loving. I am tired of myself. I can’t see myself clearly but enough to know what I must do because of my morals and I know enough to see how unhappy I am even with soooooooo many blessings I want to die even when I want the best for my amazing kids how why am I feeling so hopeless it’s the way I’m wired I don’t know. Such guilt. No time is s good time to take your life when I think logically. I do have control over if I take my life or not. I feel like anyone who finds I’m suicidal will be angry and too sad for me to handle to see. So finally I get it off my chest here. There’s something about writing it out that makes it tangible.hopefully soon I will snap out of the pull of darkness. So far I’m able to do theose little things that make up living. Prayers out to each one of you... it can be a hard hill to climb. It would help if we knew for sure we’d make it one day.
in my eyes star you aint horrible its our illness that's horrible.
I always thought I’d make it maybe I will but I keep getting more and more angry and depressed that I just don’t know if I’ll handle.
Thanks Kenster ❤️
no worries just happy to reach out.
I’m tired of illness thinking about how to end it
Then stop thinking about it! Why dwell on it? Are YOU even attempting to seek other ways to distract your mind and spirit? Those of us who care don't want to see you hurt yourself. I think most of what is going on is a cry from the darkness for help. Well here's some advice then!
YOU have to take control! YOU have to be the voice of change! Obviously your meds are messed up or YOU wouldn't feel this way. It's time for YOU to get your doctor to either change the amount you're taking or try something new! But, it's clear to me that only YOU can accomplish this. For your kid's sake, YOU don't have to give anything away, S. Just tell your doctor you feel crappy and nothing else. But unless YOU effect a change, how is anything ever gonna change? I know YOU can do this I have 100% faith that YOU can succeed!
Your anger is misplaced. YOU need to be angry at your doctor because he or she is not taking care of your problem! Maybe YOU wouldn't even have this problem if YOU were undergoing the right treatment! It doesn't do any good to be angry at yourself, especially if YOU haven't explored all the options for correcting this serious problem! YOU need to function optimally for yourself and your family, not just barely coast by. Now go do something proactive about this whole mess, S!
(And if this makes you angry at me but, you actually do something about your problems, then I will have done a good thing in saying what needed to be said. Right? These words come from a place in my heart that cares deeply for you and aches from what you're going through. It's time to return to a happy world where you can enjoy life and being with your family and friends. I only want what's best for you. In other words I speak from loving concern, not anger. YOU need to fight to regain your hope and dreams! So, please heed my words. Okay?)
I have already called my doc and am going off zyprexa and have already been off Paxil for a while. Thanks for caring. I know it’s not positive thinking but I bet I’ll still feel like shit.ill figure that out later though. I talked with my oldest son about how I’ve been doing and I usually don’t but today he knows how deep my depression is and is supportive of me going off one of my meds. So is my husband. I do believe my meds are causing more harm than good.
That is awesome! I was beginning to get quite alarmed. Of course there are withdrawal symptoms and you will feel crappy. S, tell me what do you think you could do to make yourself feel better....I need to understand this/you better. While I am also happy you are talking this over with your family, remember YOU still need to be the one leading the way. That's because only YOU know how YOU really feel. I also need to know if there is something more specific I can do to help. Could I recommend a supplement or 2 or anything else? I was trying so hard to be caring and supportive and not sounding like I was yelling at you. Somehow it feels to me like we will both be better off if we stick with this caring and strong friendship we have. But, if I'm ever out of line anytime, please let me know. Okay?
I’m soooo tired just wanted to say good night 🌙
Sleep tight, my friend!
There Is Hope- Please Read 
Thank you for being there
I Can’t Control My Thoughts 
Update on prior post about being homeless
