I am new here.

[Quiltinglady]

Hi Everyone, I've had anxiety, depression, and panic attacks for over 30 years. I have been terrified of death all my life and now that I am approaching 70 years old find that terror increasing. Last time I was in counseling I was advised that I had all the symptoms of PTSD. As I get older I keep hoping these bad feelings will go away so I can enjoy the rest of my life being happy and carefree. My doctor recently prescribed buspirone for me and I started that a couple days ago. Maybe this med, along with my daily dose of Wellbutrin, will ease my symptoms. Hoping to find some helpful hints from this group and maybe even be helpful to other members.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Welcome 💛💛

[Indigojoe]

I understand.

Have suffered a very long time.

Truth be told we have to find one thought any thought that feels good.

You must do quilting based on your name. If the fabric's , colors, texture bring you joy, focus on that.

If the smell of bacon or cookies make you happy, try that.

It's one thought at time, isn't it ?

[Quiltinglady in reply to Indigojoe]

Focus on things other than myself does help and you are right, it is one thought at a time.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

For 30 years I had mild depression which remained under control until a year and a half ago when I was diagnosed with a Major Depression/Anxiety Disorder. A good portion of it is clinical but some was brought on when we lost everything due to 2008 housing collapse. We used all our retirement bought 6 acres and designed our dream house. We contracted in 2005 and by the time we moved in in 2007, we were underwater. Tried to keep afloat for 5 years but finally got foreclosed and declared bankruptcy. Counseling has worked on the PTSD component and the shrink’s meds are starting to work

My identification with your story is that I just turned 70 a week ago and for quite some time leading up to that I was a mess. There’s a difference between knowing I would die someday and actually realizing there’s really a time limit. We bought a new refrigerator this year and it may be last one I’ll need. I didn’t want to get my haircut because it can never be this long again. It took almost 10 years to grow it. Crazy thoughts like these kept popping up. I felt like I had been given a death sentence.

Of course we talked about it in therapy but it was an incredibly difficult internal shift. I worked on my thinking using day at a time tools as well as acceptance that I have no idea how much time I have.

Then the big day arrived. I lived through it. Felt relieved. And have an appointment with my hairdresser next week.

That’s my story. Hope it helps.

[Quiltinglady in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you for sharing your story. Like you, my depression/anxiety is mainly clinical. I was doing well with just the Wellbutrin until the realization hit that I actually have an expiration date. Very scary! I've been on buspirone for just a couple days now and, from what I read about that med, it takes 3-4 weeks before I will start feeling better. Honestly, I really would like to live happily without medication but thank God I have good medical insurance and am able to get reasonably good care. We just moved to a new town so I will be searching for a psychologist to help me over this hump. It is, somehow, comforting to know someone else went through a similar episode and made it through. Hoping I will, too. Happy Thursday!