I smile everyday but no ones knows how empty I feel inside

[Miss_Aero]

Hi, New here. Hopefully this is right place. Dealing with depression sucks. I feel so alone. I feel like I'm failing at everything in my life right now. Does it get better?

[Hidden]

Yes you are in the right place. and yeah it does get better, not overnight, but there are better days ahead.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Hopefully sooner than later.

[Hidden in reply to Miss_Aero]

Yes hopefully soon.. being here is a good step towards finding the support you need, are there any other steps you’re taking to help the depression?

[Miss_Aero in reply to Hidden]

So far this is my first step. Tried therapy a few years ago. Thinking of going back.

[Hidden in reply to Miss_Aero]

Yeah thats probably a good decision, its smart to be proactive about your mental health.

I’m in the same place now, its time for me to go back to therapy . I did pretty well for a couple years without it, but things are becoming overwhelming again.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Hidden]

See that's how I feel right now. I did the therapy about 8 years ago. The stress from my marriage just feels like its knocked me down again. My husband doesnt support me going back to therapy so right now it's up to me to try to make myself better alone. But I'm glad to know there is a place I can talk to and get support.

[Hidden in reply to Miss_Aero]

Sometimes it’s difficult for the people around us to understand these feelings we have. if you feel its best for your health, then you are probably right. And you’re not alone, we’re here to support you and always ready to listen.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Hidden]

I can understand it may be hard to hear but I've had this conversation so many times with my husband. And nothing good has come out of it. This cold shoulder hes been giving me as been bringing me so down. That's why I looked for somewhere I could vent about what I'm feeling. Letting out what i feel, feels so much better than holding it in. I felt like a soda bottle all shaken up waiting to explode.

[Hidden in reply to Miss_Aero]

Thats good you’ve found this place, it helps a lot being able to be open about how depression feels and the things that bother you. i think you’re on the right track.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for listening

[Agora1 in reply to Miss_Aero]

Miss Aero, Welcome to this amazing forum of supportive people. We may be

strangers but not for long as we will become a part of your virtual family.

I'm glad you took that first step. xx

P.S. I would suggest going back to therapy. It's a positive way to get back

on track.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Agora1]

It's my plan to go back. Looking for a job so I can afford it.

[Dreamie]

Welcome You are going to find many people here that totally relate to your feelings. I am one. I’m a big smiler myself. I don’t wear my depression on my shoulders so most people would never know. It IS often lonely. But I am grateful to have found this site where so many have been encouraging and understanding and helpful. Yes, it does get better. We manage it better when we put some work into it. You are definitely not a failure. That’s just part of the disease feeling that we are. A failure doesn’t try. You are reaching out and that’s effort in your part. Hoping for you much love and support! 💗

[Miss_Aero in reply to Dreamie]

Thank you. I have no support at home so hearing from strangers that I will have support here. Brings tears to my face. I'm tired of feeling so alone.

[Dreamie in reply to Miss_Aero]

Understand. I’ve gotten the most and best support from strangers myself. My family loves me. They just don’t fully understand and it’s tough in them too. In a different way. 💗

[Miss_Aero in reply to Dreamie]

My husband doesnt support me. Depression is just me being a "crybaby" to him. As for my family I just pretend like I'm ok. I feel like that's what everyone expects from me.

[hypercat54 in reply to Miss_Aero]

Yes I get this too. I do have a couple of friends who get it coz they suffer from it to so we support each other. I don't say a lot about it though so this site is my main support. You are not alone any more. x

[Miss_Aero in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you

[Want2BHappy3]

I know how you feel, I have to pretend everything's fine cause no one wants to hear it. I'm alone about 90% of the time. I have a counselor, but can't afford him right now. I have diabetes so I have to buy monthly Medication and every 3 months I have to get blood work done to make sure my organs are fine. I'm looking for a job to help pay for these things, that's been difficult because of my age 64.

[Miss_Aero]

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried looking into any government assistance. I know how frustrating it can be to be short on funds. I'm hoping within next month I can get a job too, to help pay for therapy.

[Learningtodeal]

Hello Miss Aero...this is a wonderful forum!

The best part is nobody judges...and everyone is here to help each other! I too am in search of therapy...but can't afford it. I start a job this Monday and will have insurance after 30 days! It sucks being older (54) and not having insurance or that feeling of security. My last job I was making $22 an hour...this job I start at $12...talk about depressed! But I know I have to start somewhere =)

Enjoy your day! And know we are here for you =)

[Miss_Aero in reply to Learningtodeal]

Congratulations on the new job. It may not be what you are used too but it's a start. Better than nothing. I hope will find something soon. Yes, the support I have received makes me so grateful to find this group. I know I have long road ahead but knowing that I have people who know what I am going through and offer me the support I need. I can do it. We can do it. Our depression will not get the best of us. 💜

[Ketzel]

Oh yes, this is the right forum to express all your fears and worries because we have all been there in one way or another. I've learned that my depression and anxiety are related to emotions thathave been neglected by my parents when they didn't express love or affection. In turn, I've always been thinking that I was unlovable and that there is something wrong with me that keeps others from loving me. If your feelings are dismissed as unimportant by your husband or other loved ones, than your needs are not being met. It's really scary to feel alone in your struggle, but you're not! It's important that if your needs aren't being met by others you take steps to get them met. Reaching out is the first step. You need a safe place to express your feelings. Therapy with the right person for you is crucial. I'm going to be participating in a group therapy program in addition to my psychiatrist and therapist. I've struggled with this since childhood and, I'm 50 now.

[Miss_Aero]

That makes me so sad to hear. I'm sorry you had that kind of childhood. You are worthy of love. I know my husband cant fix me. Only I can fix me. I'm so happy to find somewhere I can vent or just get support. For now I will keep doing research for therapy. I know once I can afford it that it will help me.

[Kasra_]

yes, it will, but you need find the reason and share it to find answer, my mean "what makes you feel depression ?" i belive it is important to be honest to our selves and let the problems go away once and for ever, no matter how much it costs, else they make things worth.

[Miss_Aero in reply to Kasra_]

I agree. I know at the end of day it's what I'm feeling about myself. I've always had low self esteem. I keep to myself so not much of a social life. I honestly feel like I'm just an ugly duckling. So I need to work on how I feel about myself before I can work on relationships around me. I need to stop putting myself down and comparing to others.

[Kasra_ in reply to Miss_Aero]

sure, and thanks for sharing your feeling 🌻🌺, you need to be careless about the people around, cuz your personal life and beauty is not none of their business, if you feeling they think something negative about you, just ignore it, cuz you are you, you are not your appearance or etc. and actually it is a good news cuz you dont need to worry about it, so go out there and start much more social life or anything you think you need to do, and make some real friends, and no matter what people think about you, actually it is too complicated for me to describe in english cuz iam not native, but low self esteems will leads to some wrong way in life and may cause irreparable problems, so stop it before getting too late, and good luck, have a good day

[Miss_Aero in reply to Kasra_]

Thank you for your kind post. Yes i know I should and have to work on by caring less what others think of me. There was a point where I felt if someone didn't like me; I'd be well it's your loss. But I guess I'm just down due to not having friends. So I feel like there is something wrong with me. I find it hard to make friends, I just dont want to get close to anyone and have them betray my friendship. Like in the past.

[Kasra_ in reply to Miss_Aero]

sure, there is nothing wrong with you, and you are doing well, having no friend is better than making fake friends, so keep searching for decent people,you know fake friends are good for spending free times no more, if you like you can make some fake friends but dont take them serious, just like all people, hava a nice day and thanks for sharing you feeling 🌻

[Miss_Aero in reply to Kasra_]

Very true. I'm gonna be careful when it comes to friends. Fake people are not worth it. It's not fair to me. I know I'll get the friendship I want in time. Thank you for your response.