Kate Spade

[Gettingthere73]

I think about Kate Spade’s death a lot.

I’ve been depressed as long as I can remember and I’ve always convinced myself that once I do or get certain things that it will just go away. “I’ll feel better once I lose the extra weight” “I just need a better job and more money” “I just need a loving supportive partner and group of friends they will get me through this” but over the years I’ve found it’s not about what and who you have. It’s me. I’m half the weight I used to be, I have a good job, loving boyfriend, and I’ve pushed all my friends away. It’s me.

Kate Spade has a booming career, more money than I’ll make in my lifetime, supportive family etc. and her inner demons got the best of her. Medication money family nothing helped.

Was there something she could have done differently or was this just her ultimate destiny?

Was she meant to live in pain? Am I meant to live in pain?

I’m not suicidal. Still fighting the fight. Some days are better than others. It’s just overwhelming to think that I’m going to be fighting this the rest of my life.

[Hidden]

I went through the same confusion when Chester Bennington passed. He had become someone i looked up to because, even in spite of his illness and struggles he had accomplished so much. He would speak of his depression in interviews, and i felt like i could relate to him and if he could do all that he had done while having depression then i still had a chance.The day he passed i realized that this is something i will have to live with forever. Like you said your situation really doesn’t matter, it’s our own mental state that we have to work on regardless of circumstances and wealth and friendship, there will still be days that our depression takes away our hope for better days( its not that we’re meant to live in pain our depression just wants us to think that sometimes). We just have to keep fighting and stay as strong as we can be. If you want to talk about it i’m here, i very much understand where these questions are coming from.

[Gettingthere73 in reply to Hidden]

I do find comfort in knowing that there are many people out there struggling with the same feelings I am. It comes and goes and waves and I’m able to function quite well but sometimes I just go through the motions of life without feeling like I’m really living it if that makes sense. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone.

[Hidden in reply to Gettingthere73]

I often refer to it as coming in waves as well. And that makes perfect sense, ive been trying to get out of the cycle of just going through the motions, but its very difficult. Seeing your post actually reminded me im not the only one with those questions, so im very glad i could do the same. i think we just have to look forward to better days sometimes, because i know someday the waves will bring in some happiness to remind me i am living.

[Hidden]

I think of Kate spade also. Though of course I have nowhere near the money she had, I am financially secure, have the best family and friends, etc. yet every day I fight depression and anxiety. Suicide has crossed my mind but I don’t have the guts nor do I want to die just hate living like this. My life was normal until trauma struck two years ago. This makes things especially difficult because I once knew normal and now I am anything but. It stinks. I am on my third medication and it’s not doing much. So what is the answer... I don’t know. I retired right around the time of my trauma. Instead of enjoying retirement, I am testing out different anti depressants and visiting psychiatrists. I wish us all the strength to survive,

[Gettingthere73 in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry to hear that it was a trauma that brought you here. I hope with time support and self love you’ll be able to get to a mental place where you can enjoy your retirement. You’ve worked hard to get to this time in your life and you deserve it! I wish you happiness and strength as well.

[Hidden in reply to Gettingthere73]

Thank you. Right now every day is a struggle..I am sure you can relate,

[bonkers65 in reply to Hidden]

And I can relate as well. I see people when I'm out in public who I'm pretty sure don't have it as good as I do, yet they definitely appear to be happier than me. And I think to myself, what's wrong with this picture? I wish I had the answer.

[Hidden]

Viktor Frankl’s book Mans Search for Meaning is a must read.