Losing my mom

[Cunchy]

It's been since December 31 2018 when I lost my mom. Each day it's getting harder I thought it would get easier.

[Philc123]

Hi

I know exactly what your talking about my mum past away 2 years ago

Last Sunday it's been the hardest 2 years of my life whilst trying to bring up 2 young boys and run a business as well

It's taken its toll on my just recently I've been in hospital myself with palpitations and all sorts of strange things going on with my heart I put it down to anxiety of mum passing

It will get better we just have to ride it out so I'm told I wish we had a switch we could flick and it all be ok if you want to talk just message me

Phil

[Cunchy in reply to Philc123]

Hello i am sorry to hear to hear that. It has to be harder with two young children but i always try to think that our mom is def looking over us and giving us the strenth to keep moving. Another voice another reply in this website with help each other out. You take care of your health to care care of your kids. I am not learning to take care of myself as well. Eating better and losing weight. . Great website

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I’m so sorry. My dad is in fourth stage copd. Lots of bad days and grey skin and hospital days. A therapist friend of mine tells me it takes at least 5 years to get through the initial mourning phases (that bounce back and forth) of someone who has been a positive influence in your life. My dad is my hero. He’s my cheerleader. I imagine your mum was that for you.

Try to let the feelings be valid. Let them pass through. This truly is a ‘time’ thing.

I have no intention of acting like my dad is not around. I will talk about him like he’s in the next room. I want my kids to remember Pop. As long as he’s in my mind he’ll be alive to them. I’m going to continue to talk to him like I talk to my Grandma. She gives me strength. (My brains positive feedback just thinking about her gives me a rush of dopamine and I’m cool. She was amazing. She was my other cheerleader.)

No one who loves you wants to be forgotten but they wouldn’t want you to waste everything they taught you either. Celebrate your mom. It’s not even been a year yet. Don’t push yourself.

Sending big hugs and loves to you💛

[mira99 in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Wow 5 years...my dad was my world too, I thought a month or two and everything would be ok as he was in so much pain it was time, but then everything else goes wrong, which I think I have some blame for because I was so unhappy, but 5 years of this sounds daunting

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to mira99]

It doesn’t stay in one stage. It gets better with time but some things will grab you and you’re down a few days. You’re going up hill every day.

[Cunchy in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Yes that is how it happens with me. One minute im so happy and within a second im down. So i get discouraged. I have to learn to deal with it as best possible and not to stsy there

[Cunchy in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you for your kind and caring words and i am sorry to hear about your dads stage 4 cope. I totally agree with talking because i do that with my mom now she is always here. Like you she is my here and i was just glad that i was there for her. Im glad i have a close relationship with him. Hugs back to you. Stay strong

[TrustnGod in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I’m so sorry to hear about your father. You’re in my prayers.

Man 5 years. I believe it though. I’ve lost all my grandparents and 3 uncles within the past 4 years, all who made positive impacts on my life. I love to hear of how positively you deal with death. I immediately turn to denial so speaking to them is very hard for me. Thanks for your advice I think many of us needed it.

~Lia

[hypercat54]

Hi I can relate to that. I lost my mother 6 years ago with her birthday in June, her death, and her funeral. Every June I am very sad remembering. Sometimes it seems like such a long time ago but other times like yesterday and I remember every bit of that last day with her in great details. It has freeze framed on my brain.

My mother and I didn't have a good relationship but we did get a bit closer in her final years, but you only have 1 mother and I still miss mine and always will. x

[Cunchy in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you. Yes some things are in so detail when remembering. Those will never go away

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to hypercat54]

I hope I find myself kind enough and healed enough to miss mine. She’s going to need a few more years of living for me to get to that healed spot though. It’s a Catch-22.

[Tetelatia]

It doesn't get easier for me but I've learned to live with it and think about the good times we shared. Stay encouraged and prayerful

[Cunchy in reply to Tetelatia]

Thank you i will. Every reply helps me.

[TrustnGod]

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss Cunchy. Losing loved ones is one of the most difficult things you have to deal with. I know this probably can’t compare but I unexpectedly lost my uncle who was like a father to me back in April. Ever since his funeral, I’ve been having a very difficult time coping daily. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost someone close to me and I know it’s going to get better even if it seems impossible now. Just know that it will get better like the other comments say. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers. You will get through this.

~Lia

[Cunchy in reply to TrustnGod]

Thank you and sorry for your losses as well. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. Its well needed. Missing my mommy

[kenster1]

hi sorry to hear about your dearest mum.10 years this October since my mum passed hope you sought bereavement counselling healthunlocked has a page called bereavement care and share.its a smallish community but very much supportive and understanding and maybe of added support to you.take care.

[Cunchy in reply to kenster1]

Thank you Kenster and so sorry for your loss as well. I havent had bereavement counsel yet but i am considering it. Thanks for letter me know about the community bereavement. Take care

[kenster1 in reply to Cunchy]

no worries glad to mention it.take care.