Sick and moody

[Starrlight]

I got so angry/frustrated and overwhelmed loosing grip on any control. Open. Vulnerable. I thought it was the newly prescribed Topamax causing strange symptoms throughout my body. I went off that med a week ago; the symptoms stayed...so then thought I wasn’t getting enough protein...so I am making sure I am ...but I still I feel so drained so sick with headaches stomach upsets chills and I’m moody...I am used to running well now I can barely move. I feel I’m getting sicker and sicker. I just seems like a long time and getting harder every day it’s really messing with me. I guess all I can do is make myself rest and drink lots of water. Maybe it’s just anxiety making it seem like something is seriously wrong. It seems like my body is shutting down. I have been in such a good place for so long so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it was about time for this. This keeps me remembering what suffering means reminds me to be patient with people and kind and to slow down and just be and let be.

[JEG325]

I am so sorry, you don't feel good, my awesome friend. But your bright shining and gentle light shines thru even in your message there. I wish I had your patience and wisdom sometimes. Thru my struggle I've been irritable, moody and even somewhat angry at times. I have fought myself constantly to maintain my control even as several long time freindships crumble around me. But, when it comes to you my life doesn't matter so much. I worry about you, S. If you need to talk, I'm around today. Okay?

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

You will be ok. I will be ok. We lean on each other. I’m so sorry about your friendships. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and take special care so we can build the strength to get back up.

[JEG325 in reply to Starrlight]

That is good advice. I am here for you at all times. I know that while I'm trying to adjust to a night time sleeping pattern, it's still fairly hard to reach me because I never know when I might be sleeping or taking a sudden nap. I've also been sick to my stomach today which isn't helping either. I think it's stress related. But, I'm gonna hang on in there just in case you might need to talk to me. Okay? I will echo your words in saying that we should give ourselves a break and just try and relax and chill more while we're not doing as well. Lot's of love, hope and and happy vibes being sent your way, my awesome friend. We're both gonna be standing strong when we make it through to the other said, S!

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Yes standing strong 💪

[JEG325 in reply to Starrlight]

I believe in your ability to make it thru 100%. I may not believe in me quite so much but, Sue believes in me....I believe in her too. I guess I believe more in her belief of me than I do directly believe in myself. I will make it thru, however, just because I have her love and friends like you in my life. A1 is a good friend too! We're all gonna make it thru!

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Yeah we will make it and you know I get feeling silly 🙃 when I am making it through because I feel like I had become dramatic I really feel the highs and lows so intensely but I think people here get that. I wonder what you could practice so that you get used to succeeding and believing in yourself? For me, i have to put myself out of my comfort zone when I’m up to it, like before I used to be scared of elevators so I made sure I did not avoid them I seeked them out. Now I’ve conquered it and my brain is retrained so life becomes easier. Do this with many things and add the win to your score board.

[JEG325 in reply to Starrlight]

More awesome advice. One of my biggies is live communications with people, i.e., phone, video calls, ect. I finally made up my mind to respond to my friend Shane who still lives in Cincinnati. That would have been a victory of sorts. But, alas, he did not answer any of my attempts. But, Sue is is bringing her mom over around 7 or 8 pm tonight. That will help push me forward a bit. We also go shopping or out to eat once in awhile. Oherwise I would forget what real, live conversation actually was. But, I will certainly try following your advice. During this rough period I've stopped watching TV and reading and my writing is down 60%. Just doing those things would help. Thx for the advice, my very awesome friend. I'll see you on the other side!

[Agora1]

Dearest Starrlight, after yesterday's chaotic event in getting locked out, know that it

took both mental and physical exertion to get through it. It doesn't surprise me that

you came crashing down today. We seem to be able to get through the unexpected but

it ends up sapping all the energy out of us. I could imagine you feel sick..

The best thing you can do today is watch your symptoms in seeing if it goes into a

physical issue (a cold, the flu etc) but also attend to your emotional issue by resting,

hydrating and having an easy day. Our body gives us these symptoms at times to

remind us to take some time for ourselves.

Wishing you well and hope you feel better soon. Sending a care pkg of Love & Hugs xx

[Starrlight in reply to Agora1]

So true you know I’ve been doing so much lately really pushing myself and I think my body is telling me to slow down. Thanks for the love and hugs. ❤️ *Hugging back *

[JEG325 in reply to Agora1]

Hey, A1. I've been seeing you all around where I've been reaching out to my friends. That's because you're an awesome, good person! Well, I believe we all have it somewhere within ourselves to make it thru every setback we encounter. With the support of our friends and loved ones we can and will reach the other side!

[gerrerd]

Just relax, ride the wave the sea will calm, everything changes. good times will come back around, you will see. hold on to the merry go round !!!!!

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

Yeah so true thank you so much Ray 😊

[gerrerd in reply to Starrlight]

Always here, to remind you !!!