A post I’ve been hesitant to write.... but here goes.

Here lately I’ve really been evaluating my quality of life and realize I am not at all living to the degree I want. In fact, I am far from it. Even tho I’ve been proud of being med free for 2 years (the fog from trying so many medications just made it worse than the disease) I haven’t at all been happy.

Day to day living. There’s always this pain way deep in my soul that I just can’t ever seem to shake. Despite being incredibly blessed I feel this each and every day.

I’ve done my best to educate myself on depression and anxiety. I’ve completely changed my diet, exercise regularly, meditate, essential oils and massage, I drink plenty of water, I even turned to God.

And here I am, day after day considering going back on medication. Maybe my brain needs more help than I can give it naturally.

I’m hesitant because I felt so bad being on pharmaceutical drugs.

I want to be a better mom a better wife. I want my family to know that when I’m in the room I am present. Im not somewhere else in la la land.

Any advice?

[Agora1]

Hi Lulu, I can relate in some ways in your thinking. I too have been off my benzo meds

for over 5 years now. Not only didn't it work any longer but I didn't like the distant feeling

of not being me. And so, like you, I learned everything I could about anxiety literally took

it apart piece by piece. Tried different methods to relief my stress and found ways to lower

and get rid of my anxiety.

I think your thoughts of going back on medication has more to do with you thinking

is it worth all the trouble in having changed your lifestyle or would popping a pill be

easier in the long run. The thought of popping a pill has crossed my mind a few

times but then I do my meditation and deep breathing and I get within moments what

would have taken a pill 45 minutes or longer.

I like the power I feel in getting back control of my life. I think if I ever slid back to

where I once was years ago, I wouldn't hesitate to reach out for medication once again.

It is a personal choice. I wish you well Lulu. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Hi Agora, update on my post I never went back to the doctor and incredibly thankful for it!

God and self discipline has put me in a much better place of understanding on this condition.

Thank you for reaching out as well if only I saw this post after I wrote it lol it would have helped knowing I wasn’t alone for so long.

You’re a beautiful soul💜 thank u for your kind words.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Lulu, the important thing here is that you learned through you understanding howthis condition works. Sounds like the hard work paid off and I'm so happy for you.

Thank you for your kind words. Wishing you Peace & Calm this beautiful day xx

[Bonbontree]

Feeling everything you’ve just described. I just want to feel present. I’m trying the natural route too. Essential oils, meditation, breathing. It all helps a bit. Here if you need to talk.

[Hidden in reply to Bonbontree]

Wow I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since I made this post. Re reading it made me cry bc the struggle is just as real but has gotten easier with more knowledge I gain on topic.

What’s helped you most? For me it’s been the essential oils… I love the smells and it makes me take time to wind down maybe carve out some spa time! 😊

Thank you for response and taking the time to relate! 💜