Can’t socialize and have trouble reaching out to anyone

[Sabbath_Star]

It has been a struggle for me in the last 24 hours of life. I have been having a lot of trouble lately trying to socialize and reaching out to anyone due to the feeling of being rejected and/or guilty. Right now I am scared as I have been hurt psychologically throughout my high school days and even into my whole adult life. I try so hard to do so, but I end up stopping since I know I will feel guilty and not be able to go at it again. My therapist even tells me to put myself out there and take a risk but even that is very hard and difficult for me to do. I even tried to check into the hospital (though I am safe), but they told me outpatient care was my best option which I do agree. This struggle is real and want to be better and confident socially, but the only thing I do fear is that these flaws will be exposed and I would make a mistake that I would regret so I am stuck and hope this message goes out

[Runningfargal]

Hi Sabbath_Star,

You are not alone. I also have such a hard time reaching out. I grew up very lonely because I didn’t know how to socialize, I felt rejected and “not good enough” through out my childhood and high school years which I believe has continued on to adult life. I am always scared of making a mistake or saying something dumb or stupid, even in therapy which then holds me back. Things got very dark for me and I finally reached out to a close friend. She had reached out to me with something difficult so I felt I could talk to her. It was so scary but also so relieving. I still questioned myself and everything I said after our conversation, but I have been able to continue to talk to her in little bits (many times via text because the “2 ton phone is most times too much). But it has gotten easier and she is a wonderful support and listening ear. I urge you to try to reach out, in a text or e-mail if you can’t call, one person who you trust. You can do it, it’s so hard but it’s so worth it to have even just one person in your corner. Of course you have everyone here, keep coming back, but it’s also nice to have someone close by who you might be able to meet face to face too. Take care of you, you deserve happiness and I hope you can reach out!

Best

[Sabbath_Star in reply to Runningfargal]

Runningfargal: It’s good that we have that in common with the fact that we’ve had the same experiences. I do have a support system although it is very thin, I could eventually take your advice and find someone whether it’s a friend or family member and send them a text (better way to communicate for me anyway). I love this form of communication at this site as well, so I feel a little better and confident to start the day off right!! Thank you very much indeed for your support

[Runningfargal in reply to Sabbath_Star]

Mine support is thin too, all of my family except my sister, which I now regret telling but was pressured, doesn’t know about my mental health. I’ve had two hospitalizations and an attempt. My husband was initially very supportive but he trickles off as time goes on and isn’t someone I can talk to or share with, he doesn’t handle the “bad stuff” long term very well and I’m scared to irritate or frustrate him with my problems. My mask is on for almost everyone but a few close friends. However, it doesn’t take a huge group to provide support so thin is really okay and probably best when people like us find it difficult socializing. I have major social anxiety and GAD too so small is good for me. Less worrying about what people are thinking and what my small group of supporters are thinking. Despite their unconditional support I still worry. I really just have 2-3 friends that I talk too. Then there is my therapist that I trying to open up too but it’s like sloth mode due to the anxiety. So just don’t worry about how thin it is, it might be best and just start with one. You can reach out and text is awesome. I am trying to be more verbal myself but texting is a very good place to start. You got this

[Sabbath_Star in reply to Runningfargal]

Runningfargal: You are totally right on the support system matter. One thing I do work on each day is self love and learning to love myself more. I do have the moments where I am totally hard on myself and need to ease up and not sweat the small stuff which has been a downfall for me. I need to take as long as I could to better myself and feel more confident and I also hope and wish you a positive light in your journey (me as well) that we shall overcome and we both got this!!

[Hidden]

I also have such a hard time being social, and there's many reasons for it. I never have much to say, so long conversations hardly ever happens. I also feel like people get uninterested and bored of me real quick. As far as me, I try to be careful with every word I say, so I keep things simple, which just turn out to be basic (justifies the boring part I guess). I also lack knowledge on many things, and people like intellectual conversations.

So, I understand the struggle, and this struggle bothers me everyday.