I'm new here! (Hi!)

[Wildflowers29]

I need to vent. I'm so overwhelmed right now. I'm not happy with anything. My job is demanding and a constant struggle to not allow myself to: put in extra hours even though I don't want to be at work more than ~ 40 hr/wk; be spread too thin/all over the place trying to work on several different things at once; try to do everything because there's always too much to do. (This is how my boss operates and is certainly more comfortable there than I am. I am more or less his right hand.) I could take a different job and make more money. I also hate chasing after money and I hate how hard it is to make ends meet in general without lines of credit. There are great things I like about my job but it's wearing me down. I seem to be amassing some resentment.

My romantic relationship, with my partner, is a real downer. We are there for each other to provide stability, and express love for each other, but the relationship is hardly romantic. We have been together for several years now, and I don't want to give up on him. We also have never had much of a sex life to speak of, he is argumentative, bossy, judgmental, impolite, and lazy on an almost daily basis. While I don't know what he wishes for in our relationship, if anything, it definitely includes things that don't appeal to me, like living in a messy home and playing video games daily (out of preference, not because there aren't other options).

What I wish for in my relationship is more time spent feeling inspired or challenged. I wish we spent time exercising together, going on road trips, reading books together, spending time outdoors. I hate arguing, I hate being bossed around, I hate cleaning up after him and reminding him constantly to clean up etc, I hate reminding him not to sound rude or judgmental. I hate that I don't feel connected to him sexually.

I hate my body. Some days it feels foreign. I'm overweight even though I take pretty good care of myself. I absolutely despise myself for it, even though I don't despise others for it. Sometimes I can hardly make it through the work day without being totally overwhelmed and ready to drink alcohol or eat or not exercise. I'm definitely in a rut of feeling very little motivation to try to do much to take better care of myself.

[Jvicks]

Welcome! I don’t post too often but, have gotten support here. Sounds like you need a break from work. That may be impossible but, maybe if it was brief. Not sure if you can talk about your overwhelm with your boss. Maybe?

Sounds like a tough place with your relationship. Are you really happy with it? It’s so hard when we invest so much into a commitment and our needs aren’t met. Maybe you could communicate with your partner.

I could have wrote the last paragraph. I too have weight issues. One point it was going well, 80 lbs gone well. Then 2 pregnancies later and it shows. First, you are doing your best. Sounds like you are trying. You are beautiful. No use hating your body. It does not reflect who you truly are. Much positivity!

[Hidden]

I could have written every single word of this. It all does get overwhelming. I try to work on me since that's all I have control of but then I feel so stressed that I want to eat or drink too both of which has made me so fat. I don't have a romantic relationship either because I used to be super fit and a size four and with a younger husband I feel ashamed. I wish I ha the answers for you. I feel for you on the job. I do love mine so it is enjoyable for me to go every day.