Spoke to a doctor today

[RubberDuck123]

At the movement im living on my savings, but i need to get an income somehow. 2 month ago i quit my old job, and i dont fell ready for a new one, so i went to the doctor to get declared sick so i can get finacially aid that way.

But to tell someone that you need help, i dont know why, but its terryfing at a deeper level. I had practiced the talk with my dad a few times, so i would know what i needed to remember. But still explain to someone that you dont know that you hated your job but needed the experience, and just have to go on willpower, even when you have to wipe the tears away every morning because you hav to look profesional.

Aside from the dreadfull fealing of telling someone that what you have ben training to do, is emotionally damaging and you have to quit for self presevation. It a chink in my honor.

I also got a paper to fill out about major depression

After the talk i also had a blood test for safety meassures. It should be mentioned that im not in favor of needels.

So i just lay back and try to focus on my breath while the nurse sticks me in one arm, move to the other and poke around a pit. At this movement im just focusing on my breath and ignoring the pain. When it all over i realise that 7 was hyperventilating and now light headded

After the whole meeting, i b-lined to the nearest hot dog stand

[brokenlight]

Best of luck to you ✨