The anxiety is acting up again

[Kat63]

Good morning everybody. I can’t hang out long really - I’m at work! - but I’m feeling anxious and insecure about whether my bf really loves me or not. I need help.

[Loki1018]

Good morning ☀️

I know where your coming from darling and it sucks to be there.

Now why are you wondering that ? Is he doing anything to make you question his love for you ? Or is it the demon thoughts of the anxiety that made its way to your mind and making you doubt ?

At one point I used to think like that, how I over came that was, if he didn’t I have other people in my life who do, and it would be his loss. Plus if he didn’t love me then why would someone stick around me with all my issues, and attitude, and what not.

It’s not like he’s benefiting much other then love and sex. I don’t support him monetary wise, I don’t spoil him by buying him shyt.

I started to look at myself and first need to live myself before I worry about others loving me. Besides at times I’m in depression that I go numb and could careless if he does or doesn’t lol. This is me handling that situation.

If your not happy with how things are going let him know, tell him you need reassurance from him, so that you can be at ease. Explain to him what your going through and how it’s making you feel.

I’m sure if he loves you, he will do what he can to put you in a better place and ease your mind and worries and doubts.

Best of luck !

[wishifeltbetter]

How long have you and your boyfriend been together? What is making you concerned he doesn’t love you? Anxiety or not, I feel like all women have concerns about this from time to time. I know I do.

(Fyi I am a married women with anxiety, which can make normal feelings of insecurity worse for sure. So just want to clarify that I’m not saying this isn’t your anxiety. I hate it when people disregard my anxiety. Wanted to make sure you knew I’m not doing that)

[hypercat54]

Well if he didn't love you he wouldn't have wanted to try again would he? And he would leave you as he is a free agent. He is with you coz he chooses to be. I have said this to you a few times before Kat, stop overthinking things and live for today. Stop worrying about what if and buts etc. You are losing the present by trying to live in the future and this will only make your anxiety worse. Have you looked at mindfulness online yet? x

[Hidden]

Ok, time for tough love. You are going to run this relationship into a ditch with your attitude and perception of things and then you will say, see I knew he didn't love me.

I think you don't feel worthy of his love for some reason. Love him to death and enjoy his love in return. If not, the end is near. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

You’re right - I don’t feel worthy of his love. I made some mistakes in our past that damaged the relationship. I’m having trouble forgiving myself for those mistakes.

[Hidden in reply to Kat63]

He forgave you so you have to or you can't move on. We all make mistakes. We have to learn from them to grow.

I like the quote, "when you know better, you do better".

Enjoy life now that you have a second chance.

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

I need to learn how to stop obsessing about this.

[Hidden in reply to Kat63]

Why don't you keep a journal and write down good moments between you two daily and list things like what he did or said to show he loves you today. List reasons why he should love you. Try that daily and see if that helps.