Meditation and self-awareness are phenomenal things. I am using both daily whether I feel good about it or not.
What I've found is that I go through cycles. Cycles of happiness and relaxation. Cycles of worry and irritability. Cycles of confidence and productivity. Cycles of anxiety and fear.
These cycles can go through in a day, a week, or a month. They are often tied very closely to my inner thoughts. Other times, they are triggered by an outside event.
When I feel good, it's like a weekend off work. I bask in the glow of the ecstacy of enough.
When I feel bad, it's like Monday morning when you put off that assignment from last week and said that mean thing to your spouse as you left for the day. Ugly dread boils within. An urgent need to fix it fix it fix it or hide hide hide.
I need different support at different times. That's where the self-awareness comes in. I am learning myself to the point where I know when it is time to dial it back. To take a time out. Or to push myself harder.
The most invigorating thing is to feel content all on my own and the most depressing thing is to feel lacking when I'm surrounded by friends.
Cycling through feeling giddy, anxious and confident
Enough already. I can't take this anymore. 
How do I convince my family that I need to talk to a therapist? 
I need some words of encouragement so please reply if you are willing.
In with the new out with the old rewire your brain 🧠 spring cleaning
