been doing good

[purl1]

It's been a couple days since I've been on here. I have been feeling pretty good for a change. I haven't needed to take any ativan for 3 days. the longest I've gone without in 5 months. I usually have to take it every day. I am hoping I am on my way out of this awful anxiety hole that I am in. Everyone tells me I will feel better in time and to let time pass. I hope this lasts and I do get better in time. Today I started feeling pretty anxious and I almost broke down and took some, but I fought my way through it. I started thinking about how monday is right around the corner and everyone goes back to work and I'm not. I also realized that what I feel the most is shame. I feel ashamed that I lost my job. I need to learn to let go of that feeling. I don't really know how to do that. Time? compassion? I don't know how to do it. I do know that I feel ok right now and I'm not full of panic like usual so something must be going right.

[Agora1]

Embrace the feeling purl1, you've earned it xx

[jkl5500]

Why not take all that mental energy, and use it to plan a return to work? Make an "action plan", to use a modern term. Do some research, look at job ads, that sort of thing. Please quit beating yourself up over losing that job. I was "asked to leave" my first job at the US Postal Service because I missed too many days on probation. It was the best thing that ever happened to me! I got a much better job about a year later with the USPS, and stayed there until I retired! I know that what happened to you hurts, but it's not the end of the world! Bad stuff happens sometimes. Try focusing your mental energy on finding your next job. It's just around the corner!