Just one of those days

[Brokenangel1]

I can’t help but sit here and feel like it’s starting to get to unbearable. I don’t know how much more I can fight it. Honestly it don’t really seem worth fighting for life anymore. Nothing will ever change. I will always be broken because of others. I will never be accepted because how I act from the anxiety. I’m running out of fight. My light is barley on.

[Tigrlily]

I know what you mean regarding feeling rejected because of how the anxiety affects how you present yourself to the world. My depression and anxiety affects how I think and act. It stifles my ability to be spontaneous and to connect. Or sometimes I lash out because I'm sensitive. Support groups do help a bit. I go to a free Depression support group in my community and it keeps me from feeling so isolated. Also, I think the depression colors how I think I present myself....I judge myself so negatively and compare myself to others and it just makes me feel worse. You are a work in progress...you are perfect as you are right now, based on your life experiences. You and I will continue to change and grow and evolve...what you feel right now is temporary. When I find myself judging and being unforgiving of myself I try to think of how a good friend would talk to me. Even though right now I don't have a very good friend (I isolate too much). Would a good friend be so judgmental and unforgiving? Or would I treat another as badly as I do myself? We don't deserve the torture we inflict on ourselves. We need to have patience and compassion for ourselves. And I write this as much for you as I do for myself, as I'm going through a particularly hopeless period right now. I see your light shining.

[Brokenangel1 in reply to Tigrlily]

Everything is so hard. It’s not fair I sit here and cry and struggle to live or to even maintain a healthy relationship. While everyone else has friends. Going shopping together, laughing and get to be happy.

[Tigrlily in reply to Brokenangel1]

It's really hard. I see people on social media, in public, on TV...all living life to the fullest, while I suffer alone. Even in the depression support group I attend, it appears others can connect so effortlessly but my social anxiety locks me up. You're not alone. Do something you like today...do you read? Maybe fantasy or sci-fi, something to take you out of your head. Or is there something you can binge watch? Or go to a movie?

[Brokenangel1 in reply to Tigrlily]

I use to love a lot of things till my ex destroyed them for me. Now I find no interest in anything

[explorerPHX in reply to Brokenangel1]

i can relate to that feeling of finding no interest in anything. i totally agree, it is really hard. i also see people living life and having the things i hoped to have, yet here i sit, stuck. i struggle with the thoughts that nothing will ever change too. i agree, it is absolutely not fair.

[Brokenangel1 in reply to explorerPHX]

I wish I could just even enjoy the simplest things.