Feeling stuck

[Callie67]

I’ve had health problems the majority of my life and always felt like I could never help one problem without hurting another one.

It has been really hard dealing with a concussion while tapering off Ativan. The concussion symptoms increased my anxiety symptoms, which is why I’m on the Ativan. But now tapering off gives me anxiety. Concussion therapy increases my symptoms, which gives me anxiety. Going to all these appts or running errands gives me anxiety. But at the same time I’m so goddamn fucking sick of being confined to the house for the past 4 months.

4 months of non stop dizziness and headaches from the concussion. Either gagging or feeling like I have to because of the anxiety. When will it all be over with??

So I just feel really screwed. I want to give up but that’s literally not an option. I know I could have it worse. I know this isn’t permanent. But I am so tired of fighting.

[Hidden]

I'm really sorry to hear of all your suffering and what you're dealing with. That's a whole lot in one basket as far as a concussion and the anxiety. It sucks when two problems kind of go hand in hand with one another. I have asthma and acid reflux...and toss in anxiety...it's one huge cycle of crap even though I think the anxiety makes both seem plausible despite being controlled. Sometimes acid reflux makes me feel anxious. It's crappy like that.

I know tapering down sucks because I've just began doing the same with Xanax. It's scary and that we'll need to cope more without a pill; well it's going to be difficult. I think during this time I'd recommend doing some self-kindness and self-love mindfulness. It's okay to feel the way you do, but be gentle with yourself. So many changes while recovering. It's tough on your body, mind, and self. Easier said than done, try to consistently focus on the long term. Things won't be like this forever and recovery is closer with every passing day, hour, minute, and second.

I know this being stuck at home and being frustrated is the absolute worst. It's hell. Maybe you can set small goals daily....see what you can do. Start with some fresh air outside if you can handle it. I wish I could give you a time frame as to when things will improve but I'm not a doctor and all we can say is it will get better with time. I know that's as helpful as saying water flows, the sun comes out, and chocolate is fantastic, but I think if you place yourself in optimism, love, and positivity, the mind and brain does better. The brain loves natural feel good chemicals and things like laughter and happiness boost them. Again, I know right now that's easier said than done.

I hope today or sometime soon, you see some sort of step forward. I'm really sorry to hear all that you're dealing with. You aren't alone....I just spent four days on my couch nearly in the fetal position from withdrawals until I could begin my taper. It was the worst I've ever felt. But, for both of us, we have to keep our eyes on that prize...whether it comes sooner or later. It's unfortunate the answers and solutions we all seek on here take time because it seems that time never comes. It will and all we can do is place ourselves in a better position daily until it comes. I hope you feel better and get some sort of break from all of this. Hang in there and keep reaching out here. Take care and keep the hope. Don't forget the self-kindness...it really helps to give yourself a break from the frustration. You deserve it, just as much as you deserve a symptom free day.

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your understanding and support. I think my anxiety’s making things worse, it was never this bad until the concussion happened. (Plus that in itself can cause mental changes, yay!) I suffer from acid reflux too, have had ulcers in the past. Can certainly be brutal when it wants to be. I’m sorry you have your own cycle of hell going on.

That sounds absolutely awful, I hope you don’t have to spend your entire taper feeling that way. I try to be grateful mine hasn’t been “that” bad, I think I talk myself into feeling worse than I really am. But my next steps are cutting out the entire morning and night doses so I’m already worried about that. Have you been tapering for long?

Haha chocolate is fantastic! I’ve been trying to reframe this whole situation and make it a positive learning experience where I can completely overhaul my health bc it was long overdue. Some days are better than others with the self kindness and patience. I really hope it gets easier soon.

[Needtovent]

Sending virtual hugs Callie.