Anxiety just as high as ever

[Agoraphobia39]

I was able to drive my son to the orthopedic dr today which is about 2 miles from my house (thank God) and I felt great. Midway through her talking about a possible fracture he may have in his knee, I cpuld feel myself start to panic. I got auper fidgety and I wanted to just jump up and leave the room while she was talking.

My eyes began to water and I was squirming around while talking in my head telling myself to calm down. It took a good minite or so and I was finally able to hear her talking again and pay attention. It was rough and I made it through but it was so discouraging to my recovery of all of this. I cant help but feel like my whole family would be better off then to see me like this. I wear a mask most of the time around them but I am sure my 14 yr old saw me for what I was...truly crazy. He is to sweet to talk to me about it but, ugh I'm not feeling good today at all! Sorry...just needed to vent.

[Kat63]

Good for you for being brave and getting out there. Not everyone with agoraphobia would have been able to do that. You got through this! I think you are being much too hard on yourself.

[Agora1]

I hear your every word Agoraphobia39. I've had it happen

to me many times when taking my daughter to a doctor's appointment.

It's very different then going to an appointment for ourselves. At least for me.

The doctor's words about your son triggered your anxious thoughts and the

rest came on your shoulders to see this through. I use deep breathing in

that situation which helps calm down the nervous system. I also chew a lot

of gum or have a mint to distract my anxious thoughts during that time.

It's about the idea of being responsible for someone us when we are not

that secure about our own emotional issues. Always indorse yourself after

the fact in that you did make it there. You are a good mother. I'm glad you

vented. You are not alone. I'm proud of you and so are the other

agoraphobics on this site. You showed us it can be done. Agora1 xx

[Agoraphobia39 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you SO much. I seriously never thought about chewing gum and I think that would really help me a bunch. I am going to try to get some today and try it out on getting out of the house tomorrow.

You are right, it is very hard to hear that your child is sick or needs you when you know that you struggle taking care of yourself. Just last night (3am actually) my 19 year old...20 in 2 days was in the bathroom nearly passed out from what was possible food poisoning. My 16 yr old woke me up in a panic and I was able to help him quickly and make him feel comforted while on the inside i was terrified for him. I wasnt able to get back to sleep u til nearly 10am...even though he fell asleep around 6am. My anxiety gets the best of me, or I would say my constant worrying mind, but he didnt realize and I'm able to take control in an emergency situation which is reassuring.

[Agora1 in reply to Agoraphobia39]

It's true that we always do come through in an emergency ,

My daughter in her 20's is anorexic and being on call for her

during her issues is very taxing on the anxious mind.

(and I'm medically trained)

Being a mother and being responsible is a different thing

Breathe my friend xx

.