Am I too nice?

[Froz]

So this is mostly just my thoughts about something that happened a few days ago. Basically our old leader in our group abandoned and abused my friends verbally and I for things that I don't even know and he blamed it all on us and I ended picking the pieces and fixing us and now I am the current leader of the group. Now, the old leader wants back in and I personally already forgave him but I have my boundaries about it and as a leader I went and asked the rest of the group about the situation, most said no but I had some issues with that they told back to me.

One of them said that "I was too nice" about it. This is still lingering in my brain for sometime now and it really bugs me because I don't understand why and where it came from. Was it because I already forgave him and was willing to trust people or was it because the majority simply said no. I have other issues about some people mistrusting others simply because of mutual friends and that also bothers me but that's not the point, the point is that is it wrong to forgive people?

I'd like to ask him again why he said that but I just don't want to open that again and it's hurting me and my anxiety is just in overdrive about it because like I said, I don't understand it. I know this might sound like a super pitiful thing to even discuss here but I just need somewhere to rant about it.

[hypercat54]

H why would you want your leader back when he has behaved so disgracefully? Won't he do it all again? I am glad you have found it in your heart to forgive him but you can't inflict him on the rest of your group. No way Jose!

This is my advice anyway. x

[Froz in reply to hypercat54]

Yeah I know. That's what everyone said about it.

[Froz in reply to Froz]

The thing is I never said that I want him back. As the current leader I had to consult everyone about their opinion first. I don't understand that me being neutral about it was found to be a bad thing.

[-Sasha-]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with forgiving people. It doesn't make you "too nice" unless you let them walk all over you. As a leader you did the right thing by bringing it to the group and including them in the decision. It's clear they don't want him back and that's fine but it doesn't mean you have to hate the guy. Just tell the group you wanted to run it by them to get their feedback. Go with majority vote, agree to disagree on the forgiveness part, and be done with it.