Why can’t I be normal!!

[purpletrack]

My anxiety and depression have taken a very bad turn. My marriage is crumbling and I stoped medication and therapy. I am recently unemployed. I don’t know how to explain to others how I feel. My husband has anxiety so you would think he would understand, well wrong. I cannot vent to my 19 or 13 year old. My anxiety manifest as crazy, bad thoughts. It starts small but then ends usually with me dying then feeling bad because I have no money to leave them.

I just want to have normal thoughts, feelings and emotions not like it’s doomsday every day.

I want to be a great mom but I feel I have failed my children so bad, I don’t know how to find my way back.

[kateba]

Your're going through an obvious rough patch. I think you would be wise to get back to the therapy and medication. Folks who don't go through anxiety have no idea what's it's like. I'm surprised your husband is not more helpful. You can always vent to us on the site.

[Kat63]

If you can, get to a doctor as soon as possible and talk about the medications. If you can get some talk therapy, that would be good. In the short term - do you know of breathing techniques or grounding techniques, meditation, that sort of thing? Those can be good immediate fixes for a panic attack.

[purpletrack in reply to Kat63]

Thank you, and no I don’t know any of those. I have only gone to therapy 4 times last year.

[Hidden]

Work, mom, wife, in that order, it is that way. Work keeps a roof and food happening for your children. We are expected to wear so many hats. We have to find balance and oh ya, one more thing we have to take care of, you! Us mom's run around trying to be super woman thanks to the women's lib movement. Hey, us women need rights, that is true! However, so many of us have gotten lost into trying to do everything for everyone and if we dare try to take a breath for ourselves, we are looked down upon for that. If your job is no more. Get a part time job, make cut backs. Your kids are getting old enough to make their own spending money. Babysitting, yard work, car washing etc. If they can get a part time job, fast food, schools network with businesses. They can help you around the house especially if you have to work full time, that goes for your husband too. You are probably overwhelmed, a huge trigger for anxiety and depression. Get back to the basics, we are not super woman. No one can do everything, it takes a village, it takes a family. Get back on track, look for work that suits your want to be world and of course balance job finding(work), children, husband and don't forget "you time". Balance all the chores that make sense to everyone. Life will still be challenging, life is life but at least it will make a lot more sense to you and your mind and body

[purpletrack in reply to Hidden]

Thank you.