I have battled depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. It peaked after a friend was shot and killed right next to me at age 19, which was in 2009. I’ve never been able to shake the fear of guns and dying by being shot.
In 2013, I began having pain and stiffness in my neck, along with pain running down my arms. I was eventually diagnosed with a herniated disc in my neck and arthritis, which was most likely cause from being rear-ended years prior.
Fast forward to today, I am in a relationship with a man that I absolutely love. He has two children, two girls, ages 7 and 10. We just bought a house last May and have been working to make it feel like home. No matter what I do, I still feel empty inside. The anxiety is always there. Sometimes I snap at the kids or I’m stand offish because I am so anxious or depressed. The oldest daughter has taken the divorce of her parents very hard and she has some emotional troubles herself. In the beginning, she did not like me being with her father and she made that clear. It had been 3 years that we have been together and she has warmed up to me. Most of the time we have a good relationship, but lately her behavior has really been awful. She refuses to listen to either me or her dad, she yells at us and way more. My boyfriend and I are both at a loss of what to do. Her tantrums ruin the day for us all. Her behavior triggers my anxiety and sometimes I can’t be around her.
I’m just ready to call it quits with life. I feel like I’m letting my boyfriend down because I don’t make as much money as I used to so he pays for the majority of our expenses. Just so much going on I could pull my hair out! I hate having to get out of bed each day. Ugh.
Feeling Alone and Lost
Feeling lost
feeling lost
Feeling Lost
Feeling Lost
