I'm new in to this and I'm just tryna try something new cause I'm thinking of going to therapy and stuff but I first wanna get a feel and understanding of, I guess you can say, what's happening.
So my mind is kind of stuck in a box and its a very bad box, and I've been in this box/mindstate for the past year. Now there's many things that are making this box a hell hole for me, its family, myself, my life, I'm just in a dark place where I'm numb I'm dumb I'm nothing...its like I'm in a state of nothing and there is just nothing for like ever...I've never attempted suicide but I do think it alot but I won't but I do...its like crazy cos I can't commit suicide but I wish I was dead, you feel...its just crazy s***
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Polara6ear
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Welcome Jack. I'm new here too and learning a lot. From your description of what you've been going through, it sounds like we've had a similar struggle for the past year or so. That numbness you describe is very familiar to me. I have been going through a lot of sadness and negativity both internally and concerning the world in general. It's easy for me to slide into "ruminating" about everything that's wrong with me and my life. So far that hasn't gotten me anywhere. I started counseling and am being taught some new strategies to improve my thinking. It's not easy to change. Part of me resents having to do any work on myself, but I guess that's what I need to do if I want to get better.
If so congratulations man you where I don't think I'd ever see myself...im kinda coming to a point where I can't imagine my life without alcohol, its like if one said I couldn't drink I'd really really be depressed as on the verge of suicide...like for me life without alcohol is the loneliest life i could ever life and I'm really lonely
I understand completely. Alcohol worked for me for a long time but then it stopped working, at which point I was faced with quite a dilemma. Thankfully, I found some help when I needed it and a group of people so I no longer had to be so lonely.
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Me
It not me.
Hope your better than me
Nobody is there for me.
The chaos that's surrounding me is drowning me.
