Hard day

[tppppppp]

I fought with my wife last night. Every time I do that I wake up feeling worse. Why do I keep fighting with her? I will make it through today. I will make it home to see her.

[-Sasha-]

I'm sorry you guys had a rough night. It's obvious you care and don't want to fight with her. I hope you guys can resolve things soon and get back on the same page. Good luck.

~S~

[hypercat54]

Hi if you have disagreements regularly try tacking this when you are both calm. Give both of you time to talk about how the issue makes you feel but avoid blame at all costs. Then hopefully you will either be able to get it all out in the open and if necessary you can agree to disagree. Don't let it degenerate into a fight whatever you do and set the groundwork first. x

[Pagesofwords]

I think fighting happens in an attempt to communicate our needs, especially when unresolved issues and feelings stand between spouses. Everything is harder when someone is depressed. The spouse of a depressed person suffers, too. Both are hurting and both need to be listened to with love and understanding. Before I was married, my husband and I met with a counselor who helped us a lot to understand how to communicate in healthy ways, without attacking or bringing up past hurts. It takes listening without judging--and that often gets better with practice--stating back to the other person what he/she just said to you without evaluating it on the spot, for example. Communicating without descending into fighting is a skill we can learn. I always advise reading up on the skills we want to attain. Seeking counsel from someone who is experienced in teaching that skill can be very helpful and therapeutic. Best wishes to you and your wife. May you be united and strengthened in your love despite hard trials of life.