I thought I had it in the bag

[Loki1018]

Well I made it through the work day and now as I drove on my way to my PT was on the phone talking to my mom anxiety has set in. I feel this overwhelming feel of impending doom and a suddenly also this overwhelming emotion of terrible missing my mom and my ESA Loki.

My guts feel as though they want to come out from within me and run for the high hills. Now I feel sad as well and usually with my anxiety my depression follows I was doing good for a few days and I’m trying not to let this get to me but it’s hard. I just want to run but with no specific direction to go. Being out at the moment in public isn’t helping either I just want to shower and go to my safe place which is my house.

[Casewest20]

I totally understand. I wish I could be there to help you right this minute. I am the same way about public and anxiety and hate leaving my house, too. I admire your courage...remember that courage isn’t absence of fear...rather, it is doing/making it through whatever EVEN THOUGH you’re scared❤️

[Loki1018 in reply to Casewest20]

Thank you Meganick but I had to take my anxiety meds because along with this anxiety and depression my bipolar doesn’t help my head starts to spin so many thoughts so fast and some worse then others and it becomes obsessive hence OCD that comes along with the bipolar. I do my best to try and redirect my thinking and attention but it’s not always so easy. At the moment I just want to run to my mom and Loki. I moved back in with my mom after leaving my bf of 6 years and Loki is there too.

But right now we are reconciling and I spent the night over at my old apartment which he is waiting for me, I told him how I’m having a sudden onset episode with no trigger to it so he is waiting for me to calm me down and get me through it.

But I want to see my cat Loki I just have this sudden utter despair of missing him which makes my anxiety intensified but I don’t want to even drive right now and my old apartment is closer to me at the moment from my PT.

[JAYnLA]

It does help me to remember that THIS WILL PASS. It's real for now, but won't last. You'll be back to good days soon. Thanks for sharing with us.

[terriltwin2]

I am so sorry you feel like this right now. I know I talked to my mom, (whom lives 1,000 miles away from me) yesterday and I hung up and started crying. It's tough being in this big world and missing our biggest fans. Do you have friends or family close by? I know that there are times I am out and I just want to go home as well. When you are feeling over whelmed and anxious, just anchor a happy thought in your mind , may be picture a happy moment in your life, or a beautiful picture and put that in your mind so you don't focus on all the chaos around you, until you can get through. That is what I do. I just start thinking of happy times and fun times I have had in life and let my mind take me in a different direction. I hope you make it home safe and the rest of your day goes well.