New Here

[SnoozeinmyShoes]

Hi there

I am new here! Glad to be here. I have multiple factor disability which includes anxiety and depression. I just moved closer to family. My sibling has severe anxiety and social phobia. I was always the only one he would talk to... for decades. However, with my disability impacting me so much I find taking care of my own health and trying to get through the day so challenging. It’s created a big space between us because I cannot be the caregiver for him the same way I could be before. My health has a chance to recover a little bit every day that I take care of myself. Every day that I take care of others instead I get weaker, tired, end up sleeping a lot more or maybe not at all worrying about everything.

I would love to hear from anyone in a similar situation! How do you handle caregiving when you have your own medical issues or other problems to deal with? Did you have to cutback? Did you piut more faith in others to step up and help? Do you feel guilty?

[Hidden]

Hi there, welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately I am not a care giver but I have suffered from depression for a long time and I understand how difficult it can be to care for yourself and even more so for other people.

Have you tried therapy or medication to help you with your depression?

I hope someone who has been in your situation can give you more advice.

[Hidden]

While I am not in your shoes, it sounds like you could use a little help around as a care giver and even for yourself to recover. Maybe you could search for someone to serve as help for the care giving (if you can afford it) on a part time basis while you recover some of your energy back? You shouldn't feel guilty because you're doing your sibling a great service, what family does for one another, and you're simply getting worn down emotionally and physically. Perhaps there is another family member, who doesn't need to know specifics, who can help? Just throwing out some ideas. Anxiety, depression, and phobias are difficult to deal with alone, let alone taking care of someone else. You end up putting yourself on the back burner and it's no good for what you're also dealing with. I definitely think it would be a great benefit to find some additional help around the place....a friend, family member, or even trusted hired help. While you are being a tremendous care giver, you also need to be your own. Just an opinion and hopefully others in your situation will comment. Feel free to vent here...we all have similar issues, so welcome aboard! In the mean time, I hope you're able to relax a little and regain your strength. Please take care and let us know how it goes.

[Exister]

Remember, when you are heathy you are in a MUCH better position to help others. Obviously, that’s not to say that your support for your sibling isn’t incredibly meaningful already. But when you become more stable, everyone benefits. Find things that make you happy, even if they’re really small, and trust yourself when you need something.

[writingforjoy]

Self Care is so important when recovering or dealing with our own illnesses and depression/anxiety. I would make sure that you are intentional on your own health journey foremost, as then you are more able to help others.

Seek a physician or counselor if you have not yet. Also, perhaps ask others around you to step in and help concerning your brother, I know that may seem incredibly hard with his phobias and issues, but he must know you need to pass the baton for your own health and that you still love and care very much but need to work on you. Be open and honest about what you are needing with him. Perhaps he can step up and help you in a new way. Sometimes we can do more than we ever expect when it is for a loved one.

I pray that you find peace in taking care of you and that the right person and helps will come along.

I pray for the bondage of anxiety and depression and phobias to be broken off in Jesus name as well.