Dont know if depression or what to do

[twothree]

Hello..this is my 1st post. Im having a lot of mental and physical changes going on..ive been in a relationship for over 4 years now but past 1 -1.5 years has been on and off..every time we fight its ignore each other and now the gf goes on vacation..well this time she goes on one for 3 weeks..lied about duration of trip and then a friend sends me a pic of her in a pool looking chummy with another guy..well i went crazy..got drunk for three days and texted and left her nasty messages..well..she said she did nothing wrong and we were over..well i have ignored her and have not heard from her in a week..im down..exhausted..cant stop thinking about her and would want her back..i overreacted? Maybe..but this time was 1st time it seems she was deceitful...i dont know its much more rhan this..i guess i just feel like ourting it out there. Im scared that i will die alone..im 42 and want kids and to get married..i also feel like something is wrong with gf as well..but she puts up so many walls..its not a great relationship but i feel like i cant or wont be able to be with anyone else. I guess i was going to keep ignoring her and hope she comes back to me..maybe we could get some conseling..idk..what to do but i want to feel better and idk....thank you for reading

[Agora1]

Hi twothree, Welcome to the support group. Sometimes the writing is written on the

wall but we don't want to see it. You have both invested some time into this relationship

which is probably a wise decision. I don't think you over reacted and feel you need an

explanation in what's going on. Only you and she know what the premise is when you

two are on and off in the past year and a half. Does that mean you both are allowed to

see other people. But that decision needed to be made before she took off. It sounds

like you are in this for the long haul. However, the reason can't be because you fear being

alone, not finding love etc etc.

If you truly feel as if this isn't a great relationship then you need to move on. Fear of dying

alone is not a reason to only be given half a heart from your gf. If you feel something is

not right, then it probably isn't. What's behind the walls she has built around her?

I don't think you'd want to find out after marrying her and having children.

Things in life happen for a reason. We have to make choices as to what is good for us.

Please continue coming on the forum and talk with others who have been through the

same issues as you. Through their experiences, we learn and not feel so all alone. x

[Hidden]

hi twothree - guess you will have to text her again and apologise if you want to try again - may be she has become a habit - if she feels let down after a holiday romance which she needed to build her self esteem - she may come back to you - we all make mistakes - get your physical health back and you will feel mentally better as well - there are good diet forums including an nhs website which help people. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

[twothree in reply to Hidden]

Thank u

[PapaDocs]

There is a word of wisdom that say not everything is good for you. In short, what you want might not be good for you. And I do not mean this to offend you but prioritize your well being first before you think about kids and marriage. Picture yourself, alone, but healthy, with a good outlook in life and enjoying every little blessing you have throughout the day. You have barely any source of stress. Now, picture another you troubled with a failing marriage, a wife you cannot agree with, and problem with kids. Do not get me wrong but so many people are in this situation. I am not saying kids and marriage are not for you, just that do not make it a “must have” that you become desperate as you get older, only to regret it later. Relax and enjoy your life, and if it does not work out with this gf, move on.