Weekend update and more 3:02 AM

[Raiinbow08]

Ok so I really can’t sleep!! It must be the lunar eclipse! Lol

I’m dreading the weekend being over though. Tomorrow is Monday again and I’m back to being at home with my youngest one. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy it. I just feel like I do nothing all day. Just cook for my husband, chores, and tend to my toddler. I just want more out of my life. Something to keep my mind occupied. I feel that if I stay at home like this all the time, then eventually I will go crazy.

Well I hope not but that’s what it feels like.

I just don’t want to be dragged down more into my black pit of depression and anxiety. This is me trying to save myself. This is me trying to help myself in some way, out and further away from the dark pit.

I used to be super ok with staying at home and being a stay at home mom. Now I’m not sure it’s what I want forever. It’s nice staying home but it gets boring after a while too! I have decided to go back to school and if all goes well, then I’ll be starting school on the 28th of January. I know this should keep me occupied and my mind busy.

Now for the weekend update. As some of you know I haven’t been speaking with my family since we had this huge argument. I have completely cut them off. No sort of contact what so ever. We were invited to a party on the weekend to which I knew my family would be in attendance. It was hard to decide if we wanted to attend because not only was it an emotional situation for me but I also asked myself “do I really want to put myself in this position?”

I knew I would have to see them and practically act as if we didn’t know each other at all. But it hurt all to much the thought of doing that too.

On the way out our neighbors stopped us in the driveway and invited us over to their home as well for a last minute party they were having.

We told them thanks but that we already had something planned for the evening.

Me and the husband agreed though that if things went sour at the party we could just head back home and enjoy the rest of the evening with the neighbors.

Everything went smoothly at the party. I shed a few tears because it was hard in the moment to hold back what I was feeling. The hard stares from the other guests were not helping one bit. We made it through though. I had no contact with my family members. Not even a hey or goodbye. Just awkward eye contact throughout the entire party. I could tell they wanted to speak to me as I did to them. But I couldn’t let my guard down. It wouldn’t be fair to me.

They eventually ended up leaving, rather early might I add. All in all it wasn’t a bad weekend it was good we stayed until 4 am. (We are Mexican, we party hard) 😹😹😹 We even went back over today and spent today with them.

I just hate that sometimes we make such a big deal out of things and in the end they turn out just fine.

[Waiting4themoon]

"I just hate that sometimes we make such a big deal out of things and in the end they turn out just fine".

Great line. Thanks for sharing.

[Raiinbow08 in reply to Waiting4themoon]

It’s all to true!

[Hidden]

Although I live in the UK I do understand relationships, Mexican Families can be very family centred.So a family breakup must be very hard.

I also understand these relationships can be problematic where earlier generations try and interfere in the lives of younger generations. What happened regards this argument ?

Understand given above is hard on parents to let go in their children lives..

If you are becoming bored, look for diversions/hobbies, Mental Health Day Centres can be great places to attend, you will gain support from other members and you will find that will help.

Address your concerns, family argument. I am not saying give into their needs, just talk.

I moved away from my family, we disappeared and I have not seen any of them now for over five years. In my case I put up with nonsense for sixty years and I had to break away. It was very positive and liberating experience, although I do not know if they are alive or dead. Personally I do not feel this would be a journey you would wish to take so you have a restricted decision to make.

Consider the good with the bad, make a list of the negative and positive, regards family.

When push comes to shove you will eventually make the right decision

BOB

[Raiinbow08 in reply to Hidden]

The breakup is tough! It hurts very much. And yes we are very family centered. We all have our differences and are so much alike at the same time. I truly believe that’s what makes us all bump heads.

In regards to the argument it’s such a long story I’d probably have to dedicate an entire longgggg post just to explain everything. Thank you so much for you’re comment! 🤗🤗🤗

[Hidden in reply to Raiinbow08]

Here i needed

BOB