Anxiety over death

[Javil14]

Hi. I've struggling with anxiety for 4 years. Now my anxiety is fluctuating and high again. All over the thoughts of my family dieing. Parents don't have the best health and don't take care of themselves. Everyday all day I keep thinking they are going to die. I feel my anxiety will be out of control when they do die and I'll end up offing myself because I wouldn't be able to cope. Help.....

[Syllabus18]

sorry to hear! you can message me privately if you want to talk about it

[Stilltrying_]

I am having similar though dissimilar thoughts myself about death. I have always been extremely unable to come to terms with the fact that I myself will die ( I know sounds ridiculous as we all do) and it just seems like everyone is ill or dying ( which many people are in my life; I am 60 ; have an elderly parent who is going through stuff at the moment and know of so many others who are chronically or terminally ill and/or dying).

It's very difficult. You don't say what age you are, but I would advise you as I would advise myself to make yourself as strong as possible while they are alive and work hard on this. Make yourself resilient and as physically healthy as possible. You say they don't look after themselves physically. You could encourage them to try and adopt better habits and you yourself your aim is to eat as well as you can and exercise normally and keep your mind healthy. Do you do yoga or anything like this? Anything that will help keep your mind healthy is good.

I hope this can help you with your difficulty. Tonight once again I have talked about death with someone. I am getting used to the idea that I will of course eventually die like everyone else. I am going to try and get myself as well as I can in the meantime and possibly "enjoy" ( though enjoy is too strong a word when we all know what the end result will be) just a little time of good health and not being in immediate danger of death myself.

You do have my thoughts though as I go through this all the time.

gemma

[Hidden]

I’ve had major anxiety issues over this subject as well. I think the reality of death did not sink until recently, at age 39, is when I first really saw the truth. I cried so much thinking about my parents dying. This fear was almost completely paralyzing, but I decided to face it. I’ve been getting myself as ready as possible for death of my loved ones. Sorting out my spiritual beliefs of life after death, sorting out my purpose of life and what I will spend my time doing, telling those close to me that I love them, writing a letter to my parents telling them I Love them. Talking with my parents about my fear, spending time with them. Offering more compassion and love for those who are in mourning. Time is of the essence, my belief is that what we do here matters. Who we are and how we spend our time has rippling effects into eternity. Get your affairs in order, reconcile with those you have disagreement. Don’t let anything be unsaid and live each day with appreciation for having life.

[Oneseedatatime]

Hi Javil14,

Glad that you reached out on this forum for support!

You mention that you have been struggling with this for the last 4 years. In those 4 years have you been able to seek counseling?

I must say that your expectations about death are realistic. We will all rest someday but hopefully after we have lived a long and fulfilling life. Is this the only factor contributing to your anxiety at this time or are there other concerns? You mention that your parents are not in the best health and do not take care of themselves. Have you spoken to them to share your concerns? Are there any supports available to them that they would be accepting of to improve their health and extend their lives?

You have great insight to know that the loss would be a difficult one. Anticipating that, have you sought out support? Counseling? Familial supports? Are you connected to a church that may be of support?

I look forward to hearing from you and will keep you in my prayers!