Sometimes I feel the want to go back to work. I’m not dealing very well with being at home all day. I get this sudden feeling that I am not doing anything with my life. I start to panic.
I was so happy at my last job. I had started in March and made it all the way through September. A solid 6 months. I was happy and proud of myself. I would usually not last past the first day on a job. I feel like I stuck to this job though and mostly because I went to school for that career.
So I felt that I needed to show some accountability for all my hard work the past year and a half.
I left that job due to issues with my youngest son.
He would get sick a lot. The daycare where he attended was chosen because it was convenient in all ways possible. It was a 1 minute drive or less to the daycare. We could practically walk there if we wanted to. We moved to this specific location because it was a 10-15 minute drive (depending on traffic) from both of our jobs. All in all it was perfect, close to home, close to daycare, close to everything.
We did check it out before putting him there, don’t get me wrong it wasn’t just something we threw him into. I’m the typical worrisome mother with the all too many questions, overprotective type. It was a 5 star daycare. I was satisfied. Time passed everything was fine and I noticed he started to get sick a lot. More than the normal. He even started having febrile seizures. Three to be exact, which was enough for me to say enough. After the first one we thought it would go away and not happen again. Specially since my first child had been through it as well but just once. I was wrong it happened two times more after that and I feel sad because I had to quit my job which I enjoyed. But my sons health comes first. I feel like part of this is what caused me to regress into my depression and anxiety. I am going to go back to school at night. I have been trying to get back into anything I can job wise, at the moment but haven’t had any luck. Last year in December I had to turn down two jobs, because we couldn’t find daycare. I’m stressed because I feel like I can’t win. I’m trying, but nothing ever works out for me.