Med’s don’t work

[Flyingdon]

I’m new here, I have felt a growing sense of doom, can’t sleep, have a high pressure job and a fractured family with issues. I tried a doctor who gave me pills (Trazadone) and another anti-depressant that made me cry and want to drive off the road. I contemplated my end numerous times. I am over 50 and it’s gotten worse, I’m boarder line OCD as well, maybe someone else is like me, but I honestly don’t wish this on anyone.

[quitter333]

I had quite serious anxiety (used meds for a while last year), a little bit of ocd, hearing my thoughts and random words in my head, high blood pressure, and i am naturally adhd (hence my avatar). Felt like going insane... I did major effort since november to follow strict sleeping, work, eating and exercising discipline.

Results are quite good - anxiety basically is gone. I still am quite quick in my head but I can concentrate much better now and hence random thoughts (which can be cause of anxiety) usually focus on the task at hand.

Still my sleep is disturbed but stopping facebook and youtube use tremedously helped me with peace.

... so my advice - develop very strict rules and try to follow them. Your brain will get used to your regime and will feel newfound calmness in the alredy known tasks.

For example drinking peppeemint tea every evening puts me in a relaxing mood. My brain knows it will read a book and be sleeping in 1 hour. Etc.

All you need to do is just following the system to a point it is second nature.

I guess its same principles used by religiois, buddhists or military - you repeat until the doing is what defines you and you find joy in doing something strict and disciplined.

[Hidden]

I do feel the same, sort of at the crossroads where something has to change or else. What quitter333 says sounds good, its just forcing myself to do this that's the problem at the moment.

[quitter333 in reply to Hidden]

just do it, do the planned/regime activities.

you dont have to force.

you just do it as good as you can. e.g. you set that you will go to sleep at 23:00 stat. you simply go. You can probably jsut quit mobile phone and computer after 23:00/. etc.

You just try until you do it naturally.

with time they will grow into your subconsciousness

Habits should feel like breakfast -you dont think about it, you just eat it.

[Flyingdon]

I have done some of that, I quit alcohol, lost weight (a lot of that was no appetite) and I hear Facebook is not healthy, I’m not on as much lately. What I see, is a society that’s on a fast treadmill, work 12 hours and pay taxes. A big part of me wants to work on a farm, care for animals, I work hard by nature. Problem? Rent, food, cable, etc... I know I have it good, but I really find myself wanting less, and just feeling good but that isn’t reality. Trapped feeling, and also like what else do I have to prove? I don’t fear the end, I embrace it. crazy might be my diagnosis.

[quitter333 in reply to Flyingdon]

Oh dude.. never wait on your dreams. Sell your hut and buy cheal countrusie place. Ask someone from countryvto help you with decisiond.

I have lived on a farm all childhood. I went to city but have special relaxing connection with the nature. I can say life is much better there - not easier, but the problems are more natural and not causing panic. Nowadays you also can get good farmer's subsidies for business.

Having animals around you is slso bliss.

Dont wait for your desires. Find a way. Get a smart loan buy land, rent your current apartment to pay interest on loan.. whatever.

Youll find happiness, i feel it. People who want something definite always eventually find a way have fun in your journey m8

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Flyingdon]

Hi

Do you have any pets?

Guess not - if you're working a 12 hours day?

Have you managed to cut down your hours to say 8?

If not is this something you could do?

Is there any animal rescue centre within reach of where you live ? Could you volunteer your skills of your trade when needed?

Or volunteer as an animal care worker for about 4 hours a week on your day off?

[Flyingdon in reply to Mary-intussuception]

I have a dog, Kady, she’s 12 and has bladder cancer. I’m an owner of a company who does the work of 4-5 people, I had another job but the employees had an intervention and asked me to say, I run an entire electrical service department by myself. I’m in the Dallas area, not enough workers and I’m alone so i’m on call 24/7. Anxiety when work is slow or too busy, home life not good, hardly any family, no one to talk to, I just don’t care anymore, I want it to all stop. I am running out of tears, i’m sorry i’m dumping but I am so tired, I don’t eat or sleep, took 4 xanax and drank a 12 pack to sleep 6 hrs, only to sit here crying, and just want to have a heart attack or something. I’m bat shit crazy I know.

[Flyingdon in reply to Flyingdon]

I feel that way, I wish I could be on a farm, people are not nice like animals are. I don’t fear the end either, I crave it. It should be our right to exist or not. I just don’t want anything anymore, I sit outside and cry weekends and do my job all week, my dog is old and has cancer, I won’t last 3 days when she goes.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Flyingdon]

So sorry to hear Kady has cancer. Cancer is such an evil thief.

You are exhausted.

Seriously sleep deprived.

This makes it impossible to see clearly.

I recall my Mum once saying to me -

' sleep for 2 days '.

Please catch up on some sleep and rest.

Drink lots of water.

As soon as you feel up to it , order in a nutritious meal / your favourite food.

Take some Vitamin B Complex tablets (one a day with only a days requirement of each Vitamin ). Take with food as early in the day as possible. And some Vitamin C.

Your Precious Kady needs you now more than ever. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that.

You need you . . .

I know it's not the same as having someone there in person, but come on here to talk anytime. Or in a private message.

You can get through this .

Please keep in touch.

Praying for you and Kady.

x