Having almost constant “mini-panic attacks”

[Lost_in_life]

I’m not sure why but I’ve started having almost constant short “panic attacks.” I use quotes because they don’t really feel like full blown attacks. I can only think of two, or so, thing that might be triggering the this new phase. One is the fact that I really need to find a new job ASAP. (I’ve been out of work for over 6 months and my non-invested savings is running out.) The other thing is all the changes of routine surrounding the holidays. I love having my sister and her family visit but it also reminds me of my mother, who passed away almost two years ago. The ironic thing is that I’m getting equally depressed over them leaving tomorrow.

The worst thing about these short attacks is that it’s provoking severe feelings of nihilism. Things that typically distract me just seem utterly pointless. I’ve gotten this way before but I like the panic over the impending job hunt is making it seem new or more severe. Also, it’s making it hard for me to sleep. I’ve been slipping into old “bad” behaviors, mainly staying up super-late and drinking more than usual… both of which aren’t good for my brain chemistry. Mind you, I’m not getting falling down drunk, but it is enough to make me feel mildly hung over the following day.

[Agora1]

Hi Lost_in_life, I think what you are really feeling are not "mini panic attacks" as much as

they are "free floating anxiety sensations". My doctor once told me that is what I was feeling when it doesn't really go away but comes in waves. Looking for a job as well as

having visitors for the holiday is enough to put your emotional state over the edge.

Two life triggers that can cause constant feelings.

Not getting enough sleep as well as using drinking to escape or calm yourself down

as you know, is not the way to go. It just exacerbates the adrenaline rush as well as

dehydrates you. I hope that things will start settling down for you soon. I wish you

good luck in finding that job. Once you start having a paycheck again, your stress level

will start to drop as your self esteem rises. Happy New Year, may 2019 be your year xx

[AZ1970]

You have a reason to be anxious. Your body is getting surges of adrenaline. You are out of your routine and need to find a job. Both of those would account for what you are feeling. Once your company is gone, fill your days with the things that nourish your soul. You will be back on track in no time.

[Lost_in_life]

Thanks to both of you. Just had to go through "saying goodbye" to my sister's family. It's SO ironic and "messed up" that something that was disrupting my routine (their being here) could be missed so much.

Something dawned on me just a few minutes ago: not only have I been dealing with disruption, increased consumption of alcohol and lack of sleep; I've been eating somewhat "badly" for the last week and a half. Because of a health scare (learning I was prediabetic) back in June, I've seriously "cleaned up" my diet. I nearly eliminated a lot of processed foods like sugar and flour.

Over the last few months I've read a lot of articles that talk about the effects of diet on anxiety and depression. My improved diet wasn't helping much with my mental state -- which I think was largely situational. Then I went on Lamictal and Ambilify in early December. My mental state improved significantly... until around the 24th... about the same time that I started indulging in "holiday eating" -- which meant lots of sugar and flour-based foods.

Of course it's all fairly synergistic. Hopefully getting back into my routine and diet and taking care of some stuff I've been putting off will snap me out of this ennui and anxiety. BTW, "free floating anxiety sensations" IS a better description for what I've been going through. I just hate it when anxiety/depression makes the things I usually enjoy seem so pointless!