Downhill Chance : I can hardly imagine... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Downhill Chance

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I can hardly imagine the beauty

I once saw looking down from Childhood Hill.

Just because I'm not looking down

doesn't mean it's not beautiful, even still.

It's just out of reach

from where I've taken my stance

and to make it back up is a downhill chance.

So many nights I wasted, wasted.

Not like the gamblers, though.

I wanted to, but they really chased it.

I just pretended to, but cared more than

I wanted to admit

about ending up in a bottomless pit.

They were just a bit too trashed

to know the depth of the cess pool

or who they splashed.

I was too afraid to flee the familiar feel

I'd always known atop Childhood Hill -

A mountain that doesn't have to be

climbed as long as we never fall from it's flat.

But then I came sliding down as if the ground

were made of ice or something like that.

Barreling down to my grave with my

hands in the air - announcing my arrival

And spitting at casualties along the way;

making light of their happenchance survival.

And they shook their heads.

And they threw their dirt.

Some of them wanted to see me hit Rock Bottom

just to know their hurt.

Some of them wanted me to stop, but changed

their minds when they saw my arrogance.

I'm not as bitter toward them.

And some of them, the ones I hurt the most,

watched in horror when I upped my dose.

Both my sanity and serenity in hand, I slid.

Both of which I lost.. I did.

Then I hit the ground and did I hit hard?

I hit so hard on the ground beneath,

I'm still spitting fragments of my busted teeth.

Painful memories of addiction and the likes

6 Replies

So many on here can write but not I said the fly! Sucks don't it? Hahaha.

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Hidden in reply to aaronm

That's Emily Dickinson, right? lol.

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aaronm in reply to Hidden

Ummm sure! I have no idea. Lmao. You truly have a talent. Your very good.

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Hidden in reply to aaronm

Thanks, Aaron. Much pain behind it.

Sending you hugs!

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Hidden in reply to Susan512


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