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[naynaominay]

Hey I’m new. For the past 2 years I’ve kept my depression and anxiety to myself. My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder schizophrenia and deep depression, so much so she couldn’t raise me so I grew up with my dad and didn’t even meet her until 6th grade. I’m 23 now. When I was younger my dad would tell me it wasn’t depression and that I just over react to everything. It wasn’t until I got older that I began to understand that I was having anxiety and depression. I would start to get suicide thoughts. I found myself googling ways to hurt myself. Even then my dad and family thinks nothing of it. I also don’t have a relationship with my mom because her sickness pushes people away. I wake up every morning and go to work with a smile on my face but no one knows that every night before I cried on my floor contemplating hurting myself. I feel alone in this.

[jkl5500]

I'm here if you'd like to talk.

[naynaominay in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you so much I appreciate it

[Hidden]

You aren't alone anymore, you can chat with us now.

[naynaominay in reply to Hidden]

Thank you just a reply actually made me feel a little better

[Hidden in reply to naynaominay]

It's good to connect with people, it can make a big difference 🙂

[Hidden]

You are not alone and certainly not the only one. I have been trying to get my Dad to understand for a long time. He says "You have to work through this. Get your chin up." I respond "You think this is a choice? I got up and decided to be misersble today."

It is very hard for those not afflicted to understand, but keep trying.

The ability to work, function, even smile is referred to as hidden depression. It puzzled me for years how I could seem to have it together in public and barely function in private.

That "public persona" becomes exhausting to maintain.

Coming here is a great step. But you may need professional help to help you manage the anxiety/depression.

[naynaominay in reply to Hidden]

Omg thank you so much. It feels good to know that I’m not the only one who’s family has a problem understanding. I’m so grateful and thankful that I found this app and you guys. I’ve had no one to talk to or even open to until now and I’m goin to take your advice and seek professional help.

[Hidden in reply to naynaominay]

I am 48 and have my first appt today.

Please don't wait. I regret not learning to manage this sooner.

I am here to talk.

You are not alone.

[naynaominay in reply to Hidden]

Thank you sooo much. I called out of work today and I’ll use this time to book an appointment

[Hidden in reply to naynaominay]

It is a difficult subject, but should be discussed...understood. The thoughts of hurting yourself.

I also deal with this and have for a long time. To be honest, some part of me knows I will never take that final step. But I worried about the feelings and have discovered they are more common than you think. Just hard to admit I guess.

I came to understand that once my mind was overehelmed with anxiety the idea of giving up had a calming effect. Why worry...I'm done.

Research shows this is just a thought process. A type of coping mechanism.

Just make sure you are not actually considering it. Be honest with yourself.

And get help if you need it.

You matter. I may need you tomorrow.

[Igor4253]

Always around to talk.. sometimes just randomly speaking helps especially with non judgmental people 🤗

[naynaominay in reply to Igor4253]

Thank you. I’m so glad I found this app. It will be my first step to recovery, and thank you for taking the time to reply to me it really means alot.