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[shoesgal17]

I have had depression since I was 14, it’s gotten worse, it’s gotten better and sometimes the same. Right now I’m at a down fall in my life. I feel like my anxiety is through the roof and I know why and it sucks that I can’t do anything about it

[Hidden]

Hi shoesgal, I also struggle with depression and anxiety, it does suck. I can empathise with you and really hope things will work out for the better for you in the end and that what ever causes this anxiety is cleared up. It's a horrible to feel powerless I really feel for you. The only advice that I can give is the saying "just keep swimming"- Dory. Sometimes the only way for something to be over or pass, is by going through it, but it is still horrible. Anxiety is a scary prison that leaves you drained when you need the strength the most. I do not know you're circumstances, but really hope this helps a little.

[shoesgal17 in reply to Hidden]

That really helped me right now. As I had to log on because I needed some encouragement. Me and my mom fight a lot. I’m a grown woman. And I feel trapped most of my life

[shoesgal17]

Well I had to move back in with my parents who originally kicked me out with nothing. No money, no job, no place to live. I was couch surfing and sleeping in my car. But Ive had gotten into a bad situation, and my parents let me come back. And my mom and We’ve never gotten along, so it’s been nothing but harassment from her.

[Hidden]

Shoesgal, this situation you're in, how do you cope? How do you stay strong? Just the fact that you have gone through so much is evidence of how strong you are. My heart is breaking for you. No one deserves to be treated as such. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"- Cayla Mills.

[shoesgal17 in reply to Hidden]

I go to my room, or I leave the house. I’ve tried many times to talk it out with my mo

But when she doesn’t hear something she likes she ends the conversation, and tells me to leave.

[GMason in reply to shoesgal17]

Very often we can be in hard situations and we end up with battles with people who are negative for us, in order to survive it can be at times good to learn to be chameleon, blend with your surroundings to survive, yet plot your break for independence save your energy for the big battles

[shoesgal17 in reply to GMason]

Yes, I try as much as I can to blend in with my surroundings. But then I just feel like I guess part of like the house. Like I’m just a piece of furniture or utensil, something that if that house burnt down, it wouldn’t matter, it can be replaced. Ya know? Like I’m there but I’m not there

[GMason in reply to shoesgal17]

Yes I can understand this feeling, can you try talk to your mum about how you feel?

[shoesgal17 in reply to GMason]

Oh gawd. You would think after as much yelling at hateful stuff she says to me that she would wanna talk at all. But nope she doesn’t. She like to talk. Not listen

[GMason in reply to shoesgal17]

That can be hard, could you write her a letter?

[shoesgal17 in reply to GMason]

Again, people suggest things. And ive tried every thing

[Cfish0031]

I completely understand where you are coming from as far as the depression and how it can lead to anxiety and vise versa. From reading the comments it sounds like your relationship with your mom is very rocky and that has to lead to some anxiety in itself. It sounds like you feel lonely and with not feeling like your mom is there for support I could see why. I think its incredible important to have people in your life who you can count on for anything and who can help you fight the battles that you face. Do you have people who you can rely on?

[shoesgal17 in reply to Cfish0031]

Yes, exactly. People don’t understand that. And well I don’t have anyone I can rely on per say. I have friends don’t get me wrong but they are more like ok we’re going to the bar let’s go, or we’re doing this let’s go. It’s not a type of relationship I have where I can be like hey let’s talk about our feelings. I have one friend I can do that with. But it’s more him giving me advice than just listening to how I feel. Him telling me have you tried this, and done that. When I’ve probably done what was suggested a million times and it still doesn’t work. People think when they give me advice I’ve already tried that somehow them telling and me doing it again bc they said to is gonna Make a difference. Like some way some how, bc they suggested it, it’s gonna work