Getting up with a train wreck going threw my head.aniexty and obsession intrusive thoughts are 24 hour business

[Ncrazy]

Hey guys my apologies I don't how many post are to much,I don't want to monopolize my relationship or time with my family conversation of I got intrusive thoughts and aniexty.i try so much to put a Halloween mask on but you what the worst is I am out going person or use to be.i use to be a sale men to give you idea.i keep thinking the last time I went threw this,some one said to me,is it better to be crazy and not know or is it more painful to be like I am now.

I took a nap,the only solice or peace I can find.i hate waking up the insecure unconfident questioning everything.Looking at my daughter step daughter fiancee.My mind playing with me or torturing me.Looking at my family do they love me did I do something wrong.constantly naging this happen all day long.I am guy at 43 years old and wow.This was easy when I was young but now.i have now idea how to get back to the sale men out going guy I use to be.Then the guilt,my friends family know me as the comedian.we know what it's like to compensate adapt.i stay quite my mind keep me busy.i really need you guys let me know.

[Agora1]

Hi Ncrazy, there is no limit on the number of posts you can do. This site is your safe place to come to whether it's just to vent, ask a question or get some comfort. We are here for each other. What happened to you that took this outgoing salesman to the brink of despair and emotional pain? Somewhere deep inside you, that man still exists. Until the issues that brought you to that place are resolved, those intrusive thoughts will be kept alive. We cannot sweep our problems under the carpet. They must be addressed by a professional in order to work things out or at the least accept them for what they are and go on with your life.

It is very common in trying to find solace with sleep, however upon awakening our mind is hit with reality and fear once again settles in. You can wear that Halloween Mask and maybe fool some of the people around you. But for your sanity and well being, please seek the help you need in getting down to the root of your issue and working it out. One day at a time, one step at a time will still get you to your goal. Once again being the man you were, free of questionable doubt, free of insecurity and low self confidence.

Believe in that and it will happen.

[Ncrazy in reply to Agora1]

Wow thanks I really appreciatehead.Th nice to have a patch Adam "how hard is it to listen to some one or put a cold compress on some one head.Thank you

I don't know what got me here.ok some back round long story short lived the ghetto life rape beaten left for dead grew up hard.miss out college experience opportunity then put into so many shitty circomstance situation license problems starvation soup kitchen blah blah you know while every as kids going college clubbing I am working a full time job. Homeless lost a marriage my daughter's special experience.Cars clothing etc turning to shit.then my ex fiancee pass away.

So caught you up living I meet amazing women before I know it. The pstsd and my General Cowan powell metals walls started to crash.Every day I live ghetto fear chicken little the sky falling my fiancee is going to leave I going to lose my job coarse the aniextys signs throwing up etc.

The life I got is the dream I always wanted,so to much reality.lol lol

[Agora1 in reply to Ncrazy]

Ncrazy, thank you for sharing.. it is much easier to understand where your problems came from. It's unbelievable what you have been through. I am so very sorry. Are you under professional care for your PTSD? It's important. It does sound like you now have the life you wanted. Dreams do come true. However we have to make sure the "what ifs" don't destroy that dream. Now more than ever, it's important to get that one on one therapy. Life is precious. With all my heart, I wish you this life you so deserve. Don't allow the negative thoughts to take over the happiness you feel in your heart. You have it all. You were given a second chance in life for a reason. Embrace this moment in time and live out your dream my friend.

[Ncrazy in reply to Agora1]

We all do if you've been in the trenches we all deserve the Apple pie life.i apologies how you doing?