Mondaze: I didn’t go to work today... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Mondaze

TheEraOfSarah profile image
12 Replies

I didn’t go to work today because of my anxiety. I can’t stop beating myself up about it. I feel like a failure for not going. I also worry that my boyfriend will be disappointed in me for missing another Monday. I’ve been trying to build up vacation days but it seems like a lost cause. Monday’s are so hard for me. I feel exhausted and so anxious. I feel like I’m letting everyone and myself down by missing work again for dumb reasons.

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TheEraOfSarah profile image
TheEraOfSarah
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12 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1

try not to be to hard on yourself these things happen from time to time.im sure your boyfriend will be ok if he understands your suffering.could you maybe work an hour or two on a day like a Friday that's what a guy in my old work used to do to make up the time.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi it's not for dumb reasons - it's because you have anxiety which makes life very hard sometimes, so ease up on yourself please. You didn't ask for it, it's not your fault, and you are dealing with it as best you can.

Tomorrow is another day so concentrate on getting yourself fit enough to go in then. x

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Hi, I can sympathise. Mondays can feel so hard. I don't know quite what to say. I can understand the "beating yourself up" kind of feeling. If you had gone in do you think you would have felt better or worse? Is there any way you can do a shorter day on a Monday so there is less to dread? Just questions to ask yourself really. I'm asking because sometimes we just NEED not to go in and sometimes if we had made it then we might of been able to settle into it and not "wasted " a day as you have in a way; as you didn't give yourself permission to "enjoy" your time out but rather just felt bad all day. There again there are days when you just CAN'T go in .What does experience tell you? Are you normally ok if you force yourself or do you get worse?

If this is a general feeling of feeling awful maybe be just a bit gentle on yourself and tell yourself " I did the best thing I thought I could do at the time today by not going in. It didn't work out too well but I am not going to beat myself up about it anymore". And then maybe next time just try going in without thinking whether you should or not. I believe we know what is and what isn't good or right for us somewhere deepdown. xx

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Hey, Mondays after a weekend can be an adjustment period. I hope you can offer make up time if possible , .

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Hey, today is still here- maybe do something nice for yourself ( besides overthinking) and you'll gear yourself up for tomorrow. What kind of work do you have?

TheEraOfSarah profile image
TheEraOfSarah in reply to gogogirl

I’m an engineer for the state environmental agency. It’s not exactly fulfilling work to me. I have a lot of anxiety about coming in everyday, it’s just worse on mondays.

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to TheEraOfSarah

Very impressive- with a scientific mind - I've worked in Ed.

AliceIva profile image
AliceIva

Take a walk, you’ll feel better. Stop beating yourself up. I used to call these “mental health” days. I’m now retired, but I found those mental health days very important for me to reduce stress, regroup and go to work the next day day. I just read an article about nurses needing mental health days. Who knows , overtime this may become the norm. Life is stressful, jobs are stressful. If your boyfriend loves you, he will support you in getting what support you need to reduce your anxiety. Are you seeing a therapist? Or taking any medications help you? It may help to try touderstand the under lying cause f your stress/anxiety. This is something that can be treated successfully. Have hope.

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_ in reply to AliceIva

I like the idea of "mental health" days Alicelva. Also I have a friend who is a nurse and she works so hard and such long hours it is unbelievable She's finding it hard to keep up the pace as she gets a little bit older. The only time she ever takes off is if her cats are sick ( she is a real cat lover). I often wish they could give her more time off as she's such a lovely caring person; sometimes I think people like her can be taken for granted. I know we all need to earn money, but ... Just saying. .... lovely idea ; "mental health days" . Yep!!! :)

Emily16 profile image
Emily16

I have the exact problem. It’s not a dumb reason. I hate when people make me feel bad for missing work when my anxiety is so high. Don’t they understand they’re not helping the situation. I’m sorry you felt this way yesterday. I hope today was a better day for you.☀️💕

Nicesomebody profile image
Nicesomebody

Dear TheEraOfSarah,

Don't be hard on yourself. I am sure things will be alright. as many have recommended, maybe working for extra hours in the following days will be a practical solution.

As for how to deal with those anxiety attacks, i have been guided to listen to my thoughts and exercise healthy deep breathing every time i feel my anxiety escalating. i walk with a friend three times a week. Following this, i managed to prevent a potential attack this morning. Check if these are useful.

writingforjoy profile image
writingforjoy

I understand and so sorry you struggle. Is there something you can do to help you prepare for going back on Mondays? Maybe you look forward to something and you can set it aside for only Mondays, like a cup of coffee at work, special outfit, or a favorite snack, music or something along those lines. Literally, don't let yourself have it all week except your Monday. I don't mean to simplify, I know it is not a simple thing and please forgive me if it sounds like I am being light with it. I just know this works for me to stay on track with my writing and painting.

I pray you find peace and joy knowing that you are more than enough and that you struggle but you are not a disappointment. You are called for victory and I pray you see it!!

Best wishes

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