I’m dreading the start of the day!

I’ve been taking meds for depression and it seems to be working, however I now feel anxious about my work, future, and my relationships. It’s the same three that plagues me weekly. Some days worse than others. This morning I’m dreading the start of the day because I’m laying here questioning my ability to follow through with a contracted job I’ve taken on. I’ve considered and reconsidered everything that can go wrong with this job. So much that I’m now filled with fear. I really want to back out because of the negative messages I’m telling myself. Eg. you’ can’t do this, you’re in over your head, you’re going to fail etc. I know I can’t continue to find ways to avoid challenges so I’m reaching out to anyone who may be able to share some insight. Has anyone else experienced an increase in anxiety even though the depression is under control. Is this a typical side effect or are there meds that can control both?

[Iana_]

Maddisun, hey! Can you be more particular about the reason of your depression? Was it previous negative work or study experience? All in all healing take time, just make sure to do 1 small step forward in a day. Talking about the job it's really worthless to think about the possible fails and fantasize them cause you never know how its going to be in reality + person is always better-smarter than he/she thinks about themselve, God never give us smt we are not able to manage in life and there are many ppl (collegues, strangers, family, friends, spouse), who are ready to help you and support. You never alone! Keep faith and don't harsh to yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Iana_]

Hi Lana,

Thank you for your response. Never realized that my pervasive low mood, and reoccurring sadness was depression until my divorce 10 years ago. So it’s been a long time and I’ve been on and off of meds for approximately 10 years. I kept thinking it was situational and once I dealt with the problem or challenge I would be fine. Well I was wrong I’m now remarried, and blessed in many other areas of my life yet I still experience the pervasive low moods etc. Even though it’s controlled the anxiety has gone into overdrive.

[TheEraOfSarah]

Now that my depression is under control, I do notice my anxiety more. I’m not sure if it’s actually worse, or it’s just that I notice it more without depression clouding my mind. Take some deep breaths, break your work down into tiny manageable steps and do one at a time. Completing the entire thing can be so daunting, but if you think about the individual small steps one at a time they are totally doable and it will get you started which can be the hardest part. You got this!

[Hidden in reply to TheEraOfSarah]

Thank you! You’re right about breaking it down into smaller steps, and also spot on about how daunting it can be. I’m not always in this space but I go there often enough to feel completely exhausted. I also never considered that the anxiety may be more noticeable because the depression is under control. Guess I didn’t expect that getting the solution for one problem could lead to another problem that can be just as debilitating. Thanks for your suggestions and understanding.

[morenews]

O yes, I know what you mean. I worked on contracts and was scare d every time and was thinking and overthinking. What helped me: take one step at a time, divide project on tasks... and focus on only 1 task... not to think ahead. Meditation and breathing on daily basis.

And I have to tell you that I refused from some projects because of fear. I will never find out if my fear was justified with those projects. But when I did not back off...and regardless of anxiety kept going were fine and not as difficult as I was imagining. Let me know if it helps. And by the way something new for me is coming soon too and I am very anxious... but I will keep going. I wanted even to write post about it, but I am not ready yet.

Hugs to you, my friend.

[Hidden in reply to morenews]

Thank you for your support. You really do understand. I’ve also declined opportunities because of the fear of failure. And the times where I have pushed through have been brutally scary, only to get to the top of the mountain and realize that I was overreacting and overthinking things. I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years to overcome this but It’s the valley that scares me every time. I value your suggestions and will work on pressing forward. My hope is that you too will find the courage to face the “something new” that is coming your way. Thanks again.

[morenews in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, we do understand each other. This is great feeling. Good luck and I will be thinking of you.

[APOR2017]

Maddisun, I have been where you are and faced the same thing. The mind is powerful and will make us or break us. When you feel those negative thoughts, say something positive out loud. We cannot thin and speak two different things, so this can be a very powerful tool to completely interrupt a negative thought.

I know that you will do a great job with your contracts that you have scheduled. Try to get your mind right and focused! You are stronger than you think.