Depression / Anxiety MY status quo

[JRCoahran]

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since age 8. I have not found the answer to these issues I am 41 years old. My therapist has suggested it is due to childhood trauma I have suppressed. Has anyone gone through this before?

[HealthAnxed]

Indeed, I have. It was so welcoming to read your profile description. I'm a therapist also who talks people through their depression and anxiety daily but can't find a way to do it for myself. I've had several therapists of my own but have had no break-throughs. I'm awake right now at 12:30 a.m. from a panic attack that I'm still recovering from. I hate it when those wake me from much needed sleep. I know all of the techniques for self-calming. I'm beginning to think that none of them work on me. How can that be? I've seen others benefit from them and lives changed. I want that for myself but I don't know how to get there.

[Calm_mama]

Hi JR Coahran,

It's more widely accepted and understood these days that anxiety and it's friend, depression, are not so often caused by some underlying trauma. That's why traditional psychotherapy generally flat-out fails in treating these things. Yes, some people have repressed trauma, some have had overtly traumatic experiences, and some have had an accumulation of difficult life circumstances that traditional psychotherapy can address. And maybe that needs to be an adjunct therapy for awhile. But more often, people with anxiety and depression need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. CBT aims to change a person's attitudes and beliefs by addressing the way a person thinks. People suffering from anxiety and depression have many errors in thinking and a habit of negative thinking. How can this be done? By focusing on behavior (that's the thing we have the most control over, right?). By focusing on behavior, a slight change in thinking can occur, and a therapist can help nudge that along (or even a good CBT workbook)

Have you ever had a real "aha" moment in your life? Where you realized you had "the wrong glasses on"? Where you finally saw a situation for what it really was, rather than what you believed it to be for so long? If you've ever had this happen, you can reflect and realize it was a lot of small, gradual changes that led up to the "aha". CBT aims to get people to this "aha" moment. Everything starts coming into focus. There is no more confusion, no more suffering, no more bewilderment. No, life isn't perfect, and there is normal struggle and difficulty, but the attitude towards all of this is fundamentally changed. The glass is half full now. There is no more unnecessary fear. Life is joyful and peaceful.

Have you ever met someone with objectively horrible circumstances, yet knew him/her to see his situation as completely acceptable? And to be a grateful, calm, happy and positive person? This is the attitude that CBT aims to cultivate. Not that we have to get to that extreme, but to move towards that... To be more Winnie the Pooh, and less Eyeore

CBT is magic. All it takes is an open mind. A willingness to see that you are not looking at things correctly right now, and being open to seeing them differently. CBT targets the habit of incorrect thinking. With a change in thinking, a change in feelings follows.

Let me give you an example of how this works with anxiety. Let's take panic attacks. A panic attack is simply a little adrenaline dump. That's all. It's a perfectly natural chemical, meant to be present at certain times in our lives in different situations. Remember the last time you slammed on the brakes so as not to hit a deer/pedestrian/other car? Remember the whoosh of fear, ,feeling out of body, legs like jelly, etc- that lasted for 15 min or so? That's adrenaline. Not a big deal, right? How about the last thrill ride you took? Same thing- adrenaline. Yes, there are a few other chemicals that get spit out too, but let's keep it simple. It's an adrenaline rush.

Why is panic interpreted so differently? 2 reasons: 1) The thoughts that maybe started it and keep flying at you during the panic attack 2) our reaction to the onset of panic. Oh my goodness, what's happening, not again, this time I'll surely die...

Do you see the difference between thinking about panic as a dreadful, awful, intolerable thing to be avoided at all costs, and the reality of the situation (you are simply on the equivalent of a roller coaster ride)?

The thoughts during panic- are just thoughts. They can simply be ignored. Dreadful, fear-based, bizarre thoughts are one of the hallmark symptoms of a sensitized nervous system. With practice, people can see these for what they are.

When we take the mystery out of panic attacks and start practicing the correct reaction to that whoosh of panic, the "panic attack" eventually becomes a big, giant nothing. It fizzles out incredibly fast. Repeated practice results in panic attacks being all but gone from our lives. And small, occasional panic attacks are just barely noticed and then forgotten.

When someone reaches this point, there's been a definite change in thinking. The behavioral change is paramount in producing it. Instead of rushing away, or hiding away trying to avoid panic, you sit it out. You sit through the panic attacks and practice indifference and curiosity. You don't avoid places where you think you will have one. Why should you? you start to realize...it's only adrenaline.

If you'd like, I have excellent resources listed on my profile. I believe they can help anyone. I've listed 2 resources by Dr. Claire Weekes who was an absolute genius. Dr. Weekes discusses the relationship between anxiety and depression and her belief is that anxiety most often leads to depression, not the other way around. I've met some folks in my life who are depressed without obvious anxiety, but not often. Since you say you have both, it seems likely that your anxiety has led to depression? Even if that's not the case, CBT is the treatment of choice for depression as well. It sounds to me like you don't need even a lick of traditional psychotherapy at this stage in your life. Just high quality CBT. Which you can get from my resources and practicing what they recommend. There are other posters here who have recovered, and they have brilliant input and a variety of tips and resources that I think can support recovery as well. Wishing you all the best!

PS I wish I had time to go back and make all the pronouns uniform. I'm alternating between "we" and "you" and "they". I'll edit later!

[HisDaughter]

Yes. Some of us have had childhood traumas. It’s common. It’s necessary to meet with a therapist and get treatment until we feel much better. It’s wise to do all it takes for us to be well. Don’t give up! You are an important and valuable person who deserves to feel better!