I can’t do anything right

[IHateMyself1]

My family hates me because I can’t do anything right. I was dating this guy for a year and a half. My mom hated him so much and didn’t let me see him... so I broke up with him because I was tired from everyone in my house treating me bad. I’m still in love with him and miss him so much. He was so hurt when we broke up that he started not to care about anything anymore. I blocked him on everything and a month later he ended up in jail. I needed him the most when my parents didn’t care about me and they still hate me even when I do something to make them not hate me. Even tho I do everything to get the same love they give my sister I get nothing in return. I got a job just to get away from home and finally school has started which helps me not see my family for a couple hours. Whenever I do something wrong they will use it against me till the day I die and I’m sick of everything and just don’t wanna be home

[Hidden]

Hello!

I’m assuming that you can’t physically get away from your family at this point in your life. I had a similar experience with my family before I was old enough to move out. They convinced me that I was stupid and like you, couldn’t do anything right. Believe me when I tell you that it’s all lies! It would help you to begin erasing those bad messages from your brain now! They will follow you and sabotage you until you replace them with positive messages from yourself and others. Hang around people who see you the way you really are...smart, sensitive, caring and worthy of everything that’s good. Please remember that what they say about you just isn’t the real truth. Stop hating yourself and work on building yourself up. This is a job that only you can do...start working on it now. Don’t wait. Try to block their negativity towards you in your mind and don’t listen to the BS! It’s all lies...you’re worthy and special! By the way...your boyfriend ended up in jail because he made poor choices, nothing you did. Just had to get that in lol!! I’m sending you so much love, big hugs, and a huge dose of self-love!! 🌷🌞🌷

[LovelySnow]

I think GratitudeFirst said it well - you ARE worthy and special. It seems like you do have some feelings of self-worth because you want to get away from the way your family is treating you (not sure if that makes sense to you!). Hold on to that.

I think we all want to please our family and feel love and respect from them. But if you don't feel it from them, it doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

[hypercat54]

Hi I think it would help you to stop using such emotive language, and to change your user name. Hate is a very strong word and takes a lot of effort and emotion so I doubt whether your family really hate you. They might feel frustrated with you, or dislike things that you do but that is very different to hate.

Also how do you know they 'hate' you? Have you asked them? Just a bit of a reality check here.

My mother used to shout at me a lot and get verbally abusive and I used to think she hated me. She didn't. She said years later she did this to try and encourage me to get my life in order. I believe her but still told her it was very cruel and didn't have a cats hell chance of succeeding. x

[sherril2291]

One of the most valuable lessons in life I had to learn was not to see myself through other people's eyes. I tried to kill myself many years ago because my ex-husband was mean and cruel to me and I loved him and I reasoned that if he didn't love me, nor my family - who took his side - then I didn't need to be here. After years of therapy, I finally figured out he and they were the ones who were not thinking and acting appropriately. I eventually found people who enjoy the same things in life that i do, and now I truly believe I'm a good person, and I do good things to help others. I feel bad now for my ex and my family who think so negatively - I'm happy and successful and they're not.

Do well in school. Make a list of dreams and goals and steps to achieve them, then do it. Believe in yourself when no one else does and keep working towards those dreams. Help others and if people don't like you, they're not your people - there are others out there who are.

[IHateMyself1 in reply to sherril2291]

Your answer made my day thank you love

[sherril2291 in reply to IHateMyself1]

Anytime Stay in touch

[CornerstoneSolidHope]

Hi,

Please accept my apologies for not addressing you by your username but I also agree with hypercat54 regarding that. You’re speaking so harshly over yourself & it’s inviting the very things you want to get rid of. It was your username that caused me pause to look at your post with heartfelt empathy, especially since I just wrote this article (”Begin to Love Yourself More with 5 Simple Steps” 👉🏽cshlovelife.com/5StepsToLov... based on a question I answered for another member here had asked last week. And being that I just posted a post, yesterday, about words having power, I just had to stop by.

As much as we all would like, & knowing that family is expected to love us back appropriately, sometimes that simply isn’t our lot. It certainly wasn’t mine, as I have even found more so over the last few years. Unfortunately, their words have taken power over you by absorbing into your spirit for years, even to the point of naming yourself based on what they’ve labeled you. This is a normal reaction we all tend to have at first until we decide to embrace the fact that no one has the right to redefine what God designed by what they think about you.

Here’s what I can tell you about you though I don’t know you because at a minimum we all are fabulous creations:

~~ You are beautifully & wonderfully made!

~~ You have been created, knitted together in the womb, for purposes preordained for you to complete here!

~~ You are loved! (Even though those immediately around you don’t know how to love you.)

Yet, though you are loved by others, right now what’s imperative is to learn to Love Yourself because once you begin to do so, you’ll begin to experience a Positive shift in how you think & speak about yourself, the strength you’ll embody to get you through unpleasant situations, as well as the type of people you choose to be around. May this all begin to manifest in ways that’ll keep you moving forward with a new outlook on life!