Walls

I have built towering walls around myself for protection. I want to let the walls down, but the risk of being disrupted just holds me back. Does anyone else relate? Do you find it to be both a blessing and a curse?

[hypercat54]

Yes and yes. I had to build defensive walls in my childhood against my family. They served their purpose then but that situation is long past and then it was holding me back.

I had counselling for mine and it really helped. x

[Agora1]

I agree with hypercat54, in that building defensive walls around yourself can serve it's purpose but eventually needs to be chipped away or you will feel like a prisoner in your own mind. Seeing a therapist is a start especially in that you want to let the walls down.

Take it slow, step by step until one day you feel freedom again. I wish you well, now sounds like the time.

[Hidden]

I don't and I would think of it more of a curse as you are shutting yourself off from potentially meeting a nice partner

[fauxartist]

I had to have a suit of armor on 24/7 to ward off the abuse as a kid too like hypercat54, but basically all my young adult life I had an impenetrable bubble around me so that no one could get to close and hurt me. People meant pain in my life up till I got into self medicating....and then I still kept my walls up, but numbed myself from the pain. It took a few different therapists to start taking the wall down...one stone at a time....I will always have trust issues, and if someone crosses that boundary one too many times....now I don't go back, I just let go and move forward. I think once the walls come down, we are wise to have boundaries as to who we allow closest to us in our inner circle, who we consider just acquaintances that we may go to the movies with, but share nothing very personal, and so on. It allows us to have personal relationships that are appropriate and healthy.