Rage? Despair? IDK what it is anymore

I lose my mind when I feel threatened in any existential way -- especially when it comes to my money, of which I have not a lot -- in fact, it will run out before I do, assuming I don't die in an accident or of some disease (and disease doesn't run in my family). I can't handle frustration; I can't handle it when people don't just do their damn jobs; I can't handle having to fix things and pay for things that should not be my responsibility. I'm so, so, so, so, very tired of all of the ordinary bullshit of life. I don't want to deal with anyone, but I don't have that choice. Everything has been monetized. Things that cost nothing ten, twenty, thirty years ago cost ridiculous amounts of money now. Yet somehow, I'm not making any more money, and no matter how much stuff I get rid of, I can't seem to keep costs down enough.

Seems like the ultimate control we should have over our own lives is when we die; I don't think I'm going to have that choice, but not because I'll get sick; it's because I won't be able to afford to live anymore. This is freakin' America. WTF. Of course, it's all my fault; everything is. I'm reminded of that every. single. day. It amazes me that people have no idea why some of us decide we've had enough. It's not mental illness; we're effin DRIVEN out of life. God I'm tired of waiting to die.

[fauxartist]

If everyone who is now feeling the way you do voted for someone who isn't giving to the rich and screwing over everyone else....America would not be in this state. The set up started in the 80's with the stock tech market pyramid scam. Then the property crash, then the bank crash....only ones who made money were already filthy rich. So if you want things to change....vote. Every ocean starts with one drop of water.