Hey guys,
Just felt like reaching out today. I have generalized anxiety and panic disorder which has created a sense of depression. It's all day every day that I feel I'm going to die. I feel as if my body is going to give out on me. I've been dealing with this intensely for about 10 months after reading about the shooting in Las Vegas and then losing a friend two weeks later. I just feel like I'm losing my shit and I know it's just anxiety and panic but why is it so hard to accept? I struggle all day every day. It's always there it seems like and I just feel like I want to rip my hair out at points. There are never any times of relaxation and I could be laying on the couch trying to settle down and I just want to crawl out of my skin - it is always there. Recently I started excess yawning again to get "enough air" and if I don't - I'm panicked. This starts and doesn't want to stop and it affects a lot of stuff. I've also started being so overwhelmed by eating - eating is such a struggle. I feel as if I'm going to choke and then every time I eat I feel as if something gets caught in my throat and I freak out and lose my appetite. I suffer the entire time I eat and can't wait for it to be over. This all, plus many other symptoms in the past has created the sense of depression for just being bummed out for not living my life anymore. I feel as this has taken over and it affects every part of my day, even my sleep. I've been checked many times by doctors and I'm totally health - I know I have panic and anxiety, but why is it so hard to just except? I hate that I still am tricked. Just wanted to reach out - times have been touch - with all of this and dealing with DP/DR. I just hate not feeling myself and feeling sad. I hate not being able to think and feel like I can't process anything. It's such an awful feeling and so defeating. Just need some love and reassurance.