Maybe it wasn’t a good idea

[thatjuanguy]

Anybody have advice on dealing with anxiety/trust issue in a relationship? I just can’t separate rational from irrational thoughts. She does things that can seem suspicious but i don’t know if I overreact because of my issues. I have been handling pretty well for the past few years but I’ve avoided dating because my trust issues and because I don’t think I can survive what happened before happening again. I just don’t know how to trust anyone anymore all I know is eventually everyone leaves so why should I get invested in people.

[Hidden]

You might have regrets later in life for giving up now. I see hurts, pains, and difficulties as a part of life, our journey. Avoiding them means that you’re not growing and learning how to cope. I’m so sorry that you feel as if all people leave. Being invested in others brings us joy and contentment. I’d rather experience the joy and eventually lose it than to never experience the joy at all. You’re committing yourself to a lifetime of assured loneliness. Are you sure that’s what you desire? Let go of the past and embrace today for it’s possibilities!

[thatjuanguy]

I don’t feel like people leave I watch them go my best friend of 10 years who is like a brother to me doesn’t even talk to me anymore because his girlfriend doesn’t like me. And I’ve dealt with pain and loneliness and one of them is much easier to handle than the other for me anyway. And I don’t want to give up on this person but it just doesn’t feel like they are as into it as I am.

[MsGelfling1]

My question, exactly. My hubby left when I first was diagnosed with MS because he couldn't stand to see me suffer. Liar. I wish I could be there for you, and you there for me. I don't trust anyone either.

[thatjuanguy in reply to MsGelfling1]

I’m sorry to hear that he should have wanted be there for you and if he really didn’t want you to suffer he wouldn’t have left because I know that was probably worse than the MS

[ReardenSt33l]

Wowow I deal with the same things. I forgot what being in a relationship was like because I’ve been (purposefully) out of the dating game for the past 2 years. I recently started seeing someone and I’m overthinking every little detail. When we see each-other in person everything is great and I’m really happy, but then when we aren’t together I overthink every text and wonder if he’s seeing someone else at any given moment.

My advice to you is to turn your phone off (if possible). Yesterday I turned my phone off for 12 hours and I felt so relieved - my thoughts were more calm and I wasn’t thinking so much. Also, more importantly, is to keep an open dialogue with the other person. Let them know what you deal with and how their actions (or lack of actions) may negatively affect you.

Please let me know if either of these tactics help you or are useful

[thatjuanguy in reply to ReardenSt33l]

I see your 2 years and raise you 5 more. Lol and it’s exactly like that we were together it’s perfect but I don’t see her often be cause she cancels more plans than she follows through with and that sucks more and more every time. Talking about sounds like a good idea though I’m not good at talking especially about my issues

[ReardenSt33l in reply to thatjuanguy]

I really wish you the best man! I totally forgot how difficult relationships are.

But being open is your best best. My best relationship was built off of open discussions and I was finally able to trust the other person.

[ReardenSt33l in reply to thatjuanguy]

Also, if you need to vent to a stranger, feel free to pm me.

[SummerW]

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I definitely understand the struggle with trust. I just heard something the other day that has stuck with me..."When I say that I don't trust anyone, what I'm really saying is that I don't trust myself to be able to handle whatever they might do to hurt me." People are going to mess up. They are going to disappoint and hurt us and we will, too. We have to have the tools to handle it when it does happen. It helps me to know that even though it hurt so much, I did survive. I did handle it and I'm a little stronger now. I write in a notebook a lot. It helps me get thoughts out of my head and onto paper so I can process them. Maybe that would help you sort through the conflicting thoughts that you're having. I hope you're having a better day.

[thatjuanguy in reply to SummerW]

And that’s the problem I really don’t trust myself if this goes bad especially if it goes the same way again I just wait for disappointment and hurt I expect it from everybody and I can and have pushed through a lot things but relationships gone bad are different I don’t know I don’t like a lot people to begin with so when I find people I actually like especially dating wise I get too attached.