Reality

[01harley]

I read this today and it hit home for me. Maybe it will for someone else. No amount of guilt can change the past

And no amount of anxiety can change the future

[fauxartist]

guild, regret, and resentment, all lead to anger and contempt. And they are toxic if I dwell on them, they put me in a bad place of re-living passed regressions and the abuse I endured in the past. So re-hashing in the past regrets keep me stuck, and worring about what hasn't happened yet changes nothing, and the only thing I can do is deal with today.

[01harley in reply to fauxartist]

Yes that's all we have is today. My past is behind me, but not forgotten. I just need to find a new place to store it and not let it define who I am now. Not easy but tri n

[fauxartist in reply to 01harley]

I don't think it's possible to completely forget the past, not when that's when a lot of damage was done that altered the course of my life as it is today. I am more prone to think we can address stuff that happened to us, and take our power back, and learn why we may have acted certain ways, self destructive behavior, or having un-healthy relationships because we never had good role models to learn from. And that's what I want to do better...be happier...as much as I can while living with this disease. I will always have good and not so good days....now....I just understand why....and it's not my fault, no divine punishment or evil deed I have done to deserve to suffer...it's just brain chemistry...and some crappy stuff that happened to me as a kid and young adult....

[01harley in reply to fauxartist]

No I can never forget, but I'm trying so hard to not think about it. The pain is to devastating.

[fauxartist in reply to 01harley]

have you gotten any help with guiding you through your experiences....01harley, I just could not face what had happened to me or understand why I had anger and rage when it came to looking at my childhood....I had to get help with a therapist....what have you been able to do for yourself so far around dealing with your stuff?

[01harley in reply to fauxartist]

A therapist. My faith in God. And knowing I was to young for it to be my fault, it had to be.

[fauxartist in reply to 01harley]

I believe in karma 01harley.....and there is a special place in hell for all those monsters who hurt children....it' a very cold and dark place , and may they rot there for eternity. No, I have no forgiveness for them....only forgiving myself for dragging myself down and living so many years of blame and shame. Most of these monsters don't believe they need to be forgiven because they don't believe they did anything wrong. And we are left with scars no one else can see....

[01harley in reply to fauxartist]

That's true. I know they will suffer someday. That's only right and justice will be delivered.

[01harley in reply to 01harley]

The unjust thing is I won't get to see it

[fauxartist in reply to 01harley]

that's usually the way it is my friend....but know in your heart, and believe this....if they don't pay while on this earth....they will pay one way or another...evil begets evil I believe....and I have seen and heard first hand how karma does finally get it's dues.....I'll never see those who abused me again.....but know what's happened to a few...and it ain't pretty.....

I wish no harm on anyone or anything....but the universe does have a way of balancing out the wrongs done.....